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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not too sure about new boyfriend's friends

5 replies

mananabanana · 06/06/2014 20:55

I've been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months now. He invited me to a do where a lot of his work colleagues attended (it was a non work related event) whom he described as being his good friends. Being quite a friendly person with reasonably good social skills (despite being quite shy) I made good effort to chat to them, asking them lots of questions about themselves etc but they just didn't seem at all interested in me. I got really short answers that went nowhere, lots of looking over my shoulder when I was talking to them and absolutely no reciprocation i.e. asking me about my life etc. One evening we joined them for drinks at a restaurant and they didn't acknowledge my presence at all. I don't know if I'm just seeing too much into this but it makes me wonder whether this is important as I do really like my boyfriend but it concerns me that I don't really like/get on with his friends. I told my boyfriend about this and he actually agreed that he finds many of them to be like this too so it makes me wonder why he is friends with them.

I'd like to hear what other Mnetters think

OP posts:
superstarheartbreaker · 06/06/2014 20:57

I wouldn't read too much into it other than your dp has rude friends. He should have words with them to encourage them to interact with you. He sounds like he feels stuck with them.

superstarheartbreaker · 06/06/2014 20:58

Plus if they are colleagues he really can't get away! Far easier if they are his mates...for him.

sprite25 · 06/06/2014 21:00

I think if you like the guy and he doesn't act that way to you then maybe just accept that his friends are rude idiots. Be civil when you have to be around them but I wouldn't let it bother you too much, you know you've made the effort.

LucyInTheSky78 · 07/06/2014 22:53

Are these his main friends?

What's that saying? You can tell a lot about a person by the friends they have.

I've found it to be quite true.

They sound like total arseholes. Why would someone want to spend time with arseholes unless they have no choice? It's one thing him being forced to work dos with them but if he sees them as close friends, I'd wonder about that.

holdyourown · 07/06/2014 23:37

Some people find it hard enough to make friends, and want a bit of company, so I don't think you should judge him harshly, particularly as he agrees with you here, which is the main thing imo.
Sometimes I do think people expect perfection on MN as men are highly criticised if they have no friends, and now the friends also have to be ideal, even work colleagues Confused

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