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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

"Friends"

10 replies

Odessa88 · 06/06/2014 12:10

Honestly I feel like I'm posting a lot lately...Thank God for MN!
My "best friend" has just had a fall out with me....I have just lot my job and live with my child.
I have all sorts of bills to keep up with and she's mad I can't afford a night out with her!
She's upset I buy cigarettes and drink wine in the house occasionally-she thinks I should save up because she wants to go out.
She's out at least twice a week and her SO has her kids.
I'm really frustrated that there seems to be a total lack of sympathy. I've been having issues with my family and this just seems the icing on the cake.
I'm starting to feel like I have no one who I can talk to.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/06/2014 12:26

Her behaviour goes way beyond a lack of sympathy. Hmm When you know a mate has hit hard times you offer to come round to theirs with a DVD and a takeaway, not have a go at them. Have you told her she's being an idiot? Sounds like you need some new friends really.

Odessa88 · 06/06/2014 12:38

I have tried in the past because this isn't the first time. She is very aggressive though and I struggle to say much.
I honestly want to create distance but I have few people as it is.
It's just always all about going out and getting wrecked. plus she will taxi dodge and I'm left to pay! that really bugs me.

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Whocansay · 06/06/2014 12:51

She is not a friend. She's fallen out with you? Rejoice and lose her number.

She's a user and very unpleasant from the sound of it.

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time.

hellsbellsmelons · 06/06/2014 13:22

Wow - she sounds like a lovely friend!?

I think you could use the good old MN phrase here.

Oh do fuck off dear!
That should sum it up nicely for her!

Can you join any free clubs in your area to get to know people.

I have some friends and we get together every so often.
If one of us is low on money, we all just stay in an have a good gossip and good food and wine (well the wine is cheap actually). But that's what you do. It's not rocket science.

She sounds quite horrible. Time to ditch her.

Odessa88 · 06/06/2014 13:51

Thank you, Guys xx
I can't really afford a club with a membership and tbh I haven't looked at what's available near me.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/06/2014 14:47

It is tough to make new friends but it's better than having bad friends that bring you down. Local authorities, libraries and places like that can have lists of community groups and things you can join in with. Is your child school age? Do you meet other mums? When you get your new job there will be people there you can pal on with hopefully

Fudgeface123 · 06/06/2014 14:50

This might sound harsh but if you gave up the fags then you might be able to afford a club. It's about compromise, I couldn't afford the fags anymore so I gave up

Meerka · 06/06/2014 18:25

she might have a fun (if aggressive) personality but her underlying character sounds pretty selfish.

Odessa88 · 06/06/2014 20:15

You're right I shouldn't smoke it was just one treat :/as bad as that sounds! I don't go out or buy clothes etc. only vice lol
It was just that if it was one of my friends iny position I wouldn't have shouted about fags and not having a bottle of wine, wouldn't really think it was my place...esp. If it was to go out getting slammed instead. x

OP posts:
Odessa88 · 06/06/2014 20:17

and you're right I should give them up and join a club. Just upset it was 'give them up to do what I want'. I just feel upset over that x

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