Hi, I've been trying to get my head round the fact I have been in an abusive relationship for so long, and was too scared to leave.
I managed to get a non mol after he assaulted me. I had to drop charges as he told kids about me wanting to send him to prison. I then ended up having to pay £4k in legal fees at the return date to get cross undertakings not to be violent but also for him not to return to the house. He made up loads of rubbish about me and got the support of my own family who have never seen him angry or abusive and absolutely don't want me to get divorced as I have children. I couldn't face a full blown trial so went for it. Now there's peace at home which is great.
Now I need to sort out access. I applied for divorce as soon as he was arrested. He acknowledged the divorce and I am waiting to get forms for Decree Nisi. My dilemma is he has been emotionally abusive and has hit the older children. I don't know how to proceed. The hearing was so awful I would prefer to be able to discuss through mediation but want my children's opinions taken into account. How does Cafcass work? Can they provide a report to the judge without a hearing or help us to come to agreement in mediation?
If I don't mention DV will that affect the way he is allowed access in the future? Can that be negotiated? I don't want him coming back to the house although he has 50% ownership. The DC don't want too much contact because they suffered DV too though I've not told that to anyone yet but my counsellor.
Any help please advise.