Bit of a background...
DP and I have two kids - 2yo son and 8mo daughter. I am a SAHM and DP works full time, I feel like he takes our relationship and his role in parenting as a big joke.
I do the 99.9% of childcare/house work and DP works full time then walks the dog - this is where the equality ends. When DP comes in from work he would quite happily sit watching TV/search on the Internet/play games on his phone/fall asleep, without the thought crossing his mind to say anything to myself or the kids. However, he would always help if i asked.
Most nights DP will be asleep before I have got both kids to sleep, so I don't see him. I've spoke to him before about needing adult conversation but understand he is tired from work.
The weekends follow the exact same pattern, he does no night feeds ever in the whole 2 years - some nights both babies can be up resulting in me often getting 3 hours sleep'in total. DPs answer 'I can't function on no sleep' - what annoys me is if he wakes when I'm up with the DCs at 7am he will smile and roll over and would happily lie in bed until lunchtime and then he might pick up a newspaper, go for an hour long shower, watch TV - he really shows no signs of wanting us, if I didn't ask him to help or to take the kids outside etc he really wouldn't bother.
We have been plodding along like this for a while now, I've broached the subject with him and he says Ill change I do care and all the rest of it but nothing ever changes. With the lack of sleep our sex life has been suffering and I told DP that I need every bit of sleep I get as he is not willing to pull his weight and share any of the parenting 'I'll change...' About a few months ago I had been feeding youngest DC about 3am had put her down to her cot and went back to bed. I am sound asleep and DP starts initiating sex...I fell out with him massively. This is not the first time he had done something like this. Anyway we were just back to plodding along for the last couple months and his old best mate had her baby yesterday, I borrowed his phone to look at the baby's picture. This friend and DP have been texting each other wait for it DP is offering her parenting advice and asking if she is breast feeding as well as giving her the details of the birth of our DD - which he was not present at!!! - but the way he wrote it sounds like he was there?
I don't know what I want answered I'm just tired of him painting things out like he's the perfect dad and everyone thinking I'm so lucky when in reality it's like living with a teenager - if we take DC to the park DP is on the monkey bars, I really couldn't trust him to watch the DC as he would be playing himself.
I feel like he doesn't value respect or care for me :( he has no idea what I did with the DC today as he hasn't asked :(