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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help me decide what to do.

35 replies

Alchemist · 05/06/2014 18:07

I met my friend about 4 years ago when our children went to playgroup. Her DH was in prison. He came out approx. 6 months ago and we have seen her go rapidly downhill. So much violence and hatred from this man, he burnt her face last week with a car cigarette lighter.

He has been sending sex texts to me which I have ignored and this seems to have riled him. My friend came for coffee after drop off (with new brusies) and he appeared banding on the windows, screaming things like "come out here cunt, I'm going to fucking kill you alchemist. I will burn your house down cunt etc. Friend ran to the door to go to him, opened it and he tried to push the door to get at me, she got between us and I managed to get the door shut. They then went off screaming and slapping at each other.

This doesn't happen in my life. I will phone the police but then.. . what to do please?

OP posts:
Alchemist · 10/06/2014 04:51

Have received a few texts from him tonight. I am calling the police this morning as they are all just like the verbal threats.

Still scared but furious now.

OP posts:
Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 10/06/2014 11:24

Hold on to that fury.

Mabelface · 10/06/2014 17:00

What are the police doing?

Alchemist · 11/06/2014 09:19

He has been arrested for something else!!!!!

He will be going back yo prison!

What a good (short-term) solution!

She is so relieved and so am I.

OP posts:
LemonBreeland · 11/06/2014 09:21

What good news for you and your friend. Hopefully she wil laccess help to get her out of this pattern now.

Fckthis · 11/06/2014 12:50

Wow he really is a star isn't he? Good job, even if it was something else that got him. Does your friend see sense? Can you suggest seeing a professional?

Alchemist · 11/06/2014 12:55

TBH I think it will take her a while to come down from all this. I hope this is the final push for her.

OP posts:
Scarletohello · 11/06/2014 13:03

This would be a great time for her to leave. He sounds like a dangerous psychopath tho and men like that don't take kindly to being left and the loss of control. ( the majority of women who are murdered by their partners are killed once they have left the relationship ). It's be that the only way she can break free of this man is by going into a Refuge do he doesn't know where she is. I would really encourage her to talk to Women's Aid whilst he is in prison. You've been a good friend and done the right thing.

Mabelface · 11/06/2014 17:12

What Scarlet said, in spades. Good that you can feel safe in your own home now.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 11/06/2014 20:15

What a brilliant outcome. Very relieved for you!

Would she be able to leave him for good or will he be allowed access to the children?

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