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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A weekend never to be repeated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 replies

joanna4 · 03/09/2006 20:59

As some of you may know I have lots of problems with my mother in law she is very controlling and I find her difficult.She rarely bothers with my husband he is without a doubt the nicest in the family we wonder if he is adopted at times!
The background to this is that our kids have been to bridlington with their grandparents for a few days we followed on friday and stayed until Sunday.
Went friday night got there in good time was nice just dh and me chatting all the way there.
Arrived was almost immediately peed off cos our ds in haler is showing on 3 occassions that it hasnt been taken- he is 12.
So i make comment although sam is old enough to know they say they asked him every night sam takes the flack.He later confides in me that he was never asked then i ask dd who verifies that she never once heard them ask. She never backs her bro so I am inclined to think there is a chance this could be true.I am cross and upset because he shouldnt miss this.

So we go to the pub where i sit and here lots of tales about my bro in law and the 2 family holidays they have had together in past month.So bad does it get i take to the wine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I dont normally drink .All the while grandad is over the top tipping the kids upside down and ragging them about-I hate this cos his sight is bad he once lanced ds head on side of a cupboard when he was little.

SATURDAY
Well it peed it down all day various degrees of torrent we all got soaked.I said to dh mum do you want owt from somerfield I am off for some tomato soup for dinner as i am so cold.Everyone wanted some so i got enough for all of us plus some nice rolls.When we get back to caravan she takes one look at the soup and says i said i was making cheese toasties- no one wanted them everyone wanted the soup.No one knew about the toasties but she was a cow all afternoon cos i buggered her plans up- no one does that!

Then and this is what is narking me off most how I did not punch her for this I dont know.She boiled the kettle and went to the loo while she was gone I made the tea in the tea pot to be helpful.I tried to switch the kettle on but cos it had just boiled it wouldnt.So she comes out of the loo sees the tea is in the pot and says did you reboil the kettle I said no it wouldnt switch so (and I still cannot believe this now what happened next)- she took the tea i made and tipped it down the sink and proceeded to reboil the kettle and remake it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So for rest of weekend i have made a point of doing fuck all as it obviously isnt good enough.
We went out last night for a meal it was nice she was not sat near me,earlier though i needed to alter my trousers i got some wondaweb -that iron on stuff cos i had no thread. I trying to make conversation says have you ever used this she says no it is for lazy people- dh then says she has used it his dad then backs it up.
I have tried to be nothing but nice down time well i just think why bother now cos you dont get any better thought of.

SUNDAY

Rain and sun on and off I hear more about dh bro and his lovely lot and what they did i hold no animosity towards them but get a bit sick of hearing about it all.
Mil is telling me how they had a lovely meal at a fish n chip place with other sons in laws when they came across.Later i ask them to join us for dinner as we are going there for fish and chips dh mum says no we dont do fish n chips its not our thing!!! So off the go.
With the constant cribbing, a cleaning fetish to rival kim and aggie and a multitude of contradictions we breathe a sigh of relief that we are on our way home.Next year if they take them we will collect them on the sunday and come back same day. Sorry this has been long I needed to get it out.We dont see them often although they only live a couple of miles away from us and afte r this weekend that suits me just fine.

OP posts:
octavia · 03/09/2006 21:38

my goodness, you poor woman.

themoon66 · 03/09/2006 22:31

The tea incident alone would have left me a broken woman to be honest

moondog · 03/09/2006 22:33

Blimey....

edam · 03/09/2006 22:34

there are some right nutters out there and your MIL is one of them...

Lio · 03/09/2006 22:36

Poor you

OzJo · 05/09/2006 07:58

She sounds like a miserable cow that wouldn't be happy whatever you do, so don't worry about it, see them as little as you can get away with. Life is too short.

SSSandy · 05/09/2006 08:22

Tipping out the tea.... I find that SO aggressive and insulting..

Speechless

It's for lazy people..... (???????????!!!)

Then the fish and chips story

She's a real viper. Sounds like nothing you say or do is ever going to be right. Is dh her favourite or something?

SSSandy · 05/09/2006 08:27

I'd slip something into her tea or food that'd give her the runs. That way she spends all weekend on the loo and you have your peace but then I have a childish and vicious streak

anorak · 05/09/2006 08:28

The only good thing about this is that her behaviour is so over the top that no one could possibly be in any doubt about who is the one with the problem, could they? It would be even worse if she was pretending to be nice in front of other people but sniping at you secretly.

What a sad woman, she needs a life I think! You're right to stay away from her.

joanna4 · 05/09/2006 11:02

No dh is not her favourite she has picked and sniped at him from an early age.Now the other son and his family -here we have atypical toxic parent syndrome thing going.She has such control over him that if either household buys something the other has it within the week they all have the same views too.She cannot control my dh he his own man and this is what pisses her off so much.I worry because my kids spent a few days with them and the older one who is 12 has come home with some quite outspoken views.When we have batted it around a bit he cannot back any of the views up concretely and it would seem it is their views that he is modelling.It is childlike to want to emulate someones views when they sound so convincing lots of kids do it.Now he sees much of it has no substance and has pushed the more extreme ones to one side.

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