Why don't I fancy the decent guys?

[superstarheartbreaker]

I guess there are many decent guys who I do fancy but they are hitched. I went on a date with someone recently who was just lovely but I just did't fancy him. I was going to give it another chance to see if it grew but he never got back to me. My recent ex was delicious and we had fantastic chemistry but he was an arsehole and possibly abusive.
I guess my question is this: can we help who we fancy? Are some of us programmed to fancy losers due to a dysfunctional upbringing And can I change my type? Also, is chemistry important?

I would say that yes, chemistry is important. Not sure why so many women say that they like a 'bad boy'. Yes they may seem a bit exciting but if they abuse you, sleep around and basically treat you like crap is that really something to be soooo attracted to? A bad boy is usually only going to bring pain and problems (along with perhaps some mad, crazy times). I watched my dad knock my mum around for years, she too thought at 17 that a bad boy was attractive. He destroyed both hers and her childrens lives. I certainly didn't want that sort of life for myself. I looked for guys who were a bit quirky, who had character but not someone who was obviously going to bring trouble to my life. We can't always help who we fancy but we do have a choice in whether to start or continue a relationship with a loser. Take your time, there are tons of decent blokes out there and hopefully you can find a decent one whom you also fancy the pants off but sometimes it can take quite a while to find Mr Right.

As long as you don't want to settle down and get married and/or have serious relationships with these types and kick them into touch when their arseholeishness gets too much I don't see the problem .

I don't want a bad boy at all... I'm just looking for someone who turns me on and drug dealers don't do it for me... Nor does being violent. I like nice just I wish more fit men were nice. They must be out there!