Exclusivety Chat

[MissPennySweet]

Posting for a friend wish it was me

Friend has been seeing a bloke for just over a month, things seem to be going well. He's off on a stag for a week in Malia next week and she's wondering what/if she should say anything about sleeping with other people I.e. Make a joke along the lines of "don't sleep with anyone else whilst you're away" but she doesn't want to come across as too much.

I'm on the fence with this one, WWYD?

If he's really into her, at this early stage especially, I don't think he'll necessarily shag anyone else just cos it's a stag do.

If he's not that into her he could be shagging other people anyway or do that on his return anyway.

If she wants an exclusivity chat fine (but early imo) but I don't think the stag do should be the catalyst. In fact I think saying 'please do not sleep with anyone else on the stag weekend' could just be detrimental, as it assumes something about him which may not be true at all and might seem an insult.

So if it were me I'd leave it, use protection, maybe just wait till after and get a sense of what type of weekend it was, how 'out there' etc and go from there

Well, because I simply don't do exclusive relationships, anyone asking me for one after a single month would be dumped on the spot for being a Klingon simply incompatible. But even people who ultimately want a longterm monogamous partner should IMO be prepared to leave it more than a month before having the discussion, really. Because it's actually a whole lot healthier (and please don't waste bandwith with a load of waa, waa, waa about STIs, just use condoms and/or skip the PIV) to keep your options open in the early stages of a relationship. You might make a big deal about exclusivity and then find the other person is utterly boring between the sheets or has other dumpable faults, and - if you are in search of a longterm partner - you have been wasting time being exclusive when you could have been widening your search.

But it is up to the individual. If you want exclusivity after the first date and waaaaay before dropping your pants, it's fine to ask for it. Just remember that other people may not feel the same way, and while it's fine for you to walk away if someone isn't as desperate and inadequate as you interested in exclusivity or thinks it's too soon, it's not fine to throw a tantrum at him/her or blame him/her for simply having a different outlook.