Did anyone else's parents hate them having friends?

[rylansteeth]

My parents were emotionally and physically (mainly my father on the physically side) to me as a child and teenager. I am non contact with them at the moment. I was just wondering if anyone else's parents hated them having friends and getting on with other people?

From about the age of 11, my mum absolutely hated me having friends. If I went to anyone's house and got home and said I'd had a good time my mum would tell me to pack a bag and to fuck off and live with them. She used to say that she hated all my friends and she'd go mad if I said I liked someone else's mum, dad or siblings. She would then say that I only liked them because they were nice to me as I arse licked them, but because I was apparently so vile and unlikeable at home then that's why she, my dad and sister weren't nice to me.

A couple of times I came home from staying overnight at friends' houses and found my bags had been packed and I was told to move out. Then there would be a massive scene, with my mum hysterical and crying and eventually I'd be "allowed" to stay on the condition that I "mended my ways".

I'm in my mid thirties now, and like I said I am non contact with my family. However I still feel a sense of guilt about having friends and getting on with people. I'm lucky enough to have lots of lovely friends and acquaintances but I always have this nagging voice in my head that makes me feel guilty. I know it's really silly to feel that way though.

My mum always bad mouthed my close friends at any given opportunity. She once said to one whom I'd had a small disagreement with 'oh, you've turned up again; like a bad penny' whilst laughing at the same time.

Recently she wanted me to try some prepacked fish dish with sauce. I said I would never buy this type of fish but she went on and on every day. Eventually I got snappy because I was fed up with her trying every which way to get me to buy it at which point she said ' I bet you'd eat it if friend x told you to!' , I was frankly speechless at this display of utter jealousy.

Thank you Attilla in a weird way it is reassuring to know other people have experienced this (although obviously I'd rather none of us had!), as a child and a teenager I thought there was something wrong with me, and that was why my mother behaved the way she did.

I suspect that is not uncommon and one of the reasons why these abusive family members are so damaging.

"Interesting. My mum was also like this and I would just feel very "wrong" as a person, whatever I did."

Stallinssister - this is exactly how I used to feel.

....."as a child and a teenager I thought there was something wrong with me, and that was why my mother behaved the way she did."

Stallinssister - this too but well in to adulthood.

Attilla - great explanation.

Wish MN was around when I was younger, so many years spent being confused and left-footed.