Argh. What would you reply to this?!

[Sunflower49]

I hardly ever use fb, and I have just logged in to find a message from my ex (I'm in my thirties now, an early twenties ex), who treated me like absolute DIRT, was just a complete horrible knob-end, a sponger, a liar and a bit of a psycho. I'll go into more detail if needed, but the message says;

"I guess that as much as I was and most likely still am a despicable person, I always cared. And because of that, I'd just like to check that you're all good...That and, while we were together I never appreciated how much of a sensitive person you were, you felt more than I could at the time and with that I took advantage. That's something that I'll always hate myself for. I know you'll never be able to forgive me, and I don't blame you. However, as much as you will most likely disbelieve me, the pregnancy thing was 100% accidental.'

('Pregnancy thing' refers to him trying his best to get me pregnant throughout our relationship, I didn't want to be pregnant at the time and he knew that. He eventually succeeded, I miscarried).I do not believe him on that.

Ha, pissed. Cringe for him.

Good move. He hasn't actually apologised has he. Not one 'I'm sorry'

Definitely ignore. It's possible, if he ever had drug or alcohol issues, that he is on, or has been on, a 12-step programme and one of the many stupid pointless and unhelpful things they do is instruct people to seek out and apologise to everyone they upset when they were drinking or taking drugs. Which, naturally, fosters their self-obsession and victim mentality even more.

You don't owe this dickhead anything so don't give him any more thought.

Thankyou RosegoldRuby :) AnneElliot if he tracks me down via any other media I will do the same!

True, Aussiebean!
I wouldn't rule it out, Solid although he always seemed tobe just a silly drunk, rather than somebody who had a problem. But that was back then-It's definitely possible!
And thank you xxx

Pissed and maudlin. What a tit.

You know, if you haven't blocked him, you could send him a link to this thread

Lurid I have blocked him,but do NOT tempt me to unblock him for that very purpose!

Oooooooh..... are you not just a little bit tempted to forward his messages to the DW? Screw him over a little? Get a few awkward questions asked round the breakfast table at Chez Bellend...?

Hahahah Chez bellend!!!

Y'know, yes I totally am. Has he done anything wrong, to her-though?By sending me that-it isn't as if he's flirting.

I think he has, actually. ..But I can't quite put my finger on why. I suspect he hasn't told her-which makes it deceitful, and that he is holding some sort of torch at least, even if It's for his own self-pity, to want a conversation with me after all these years when we've made perfectly good without one another.

I had one of these many years ago, about 2 after our year long 'relationship' ended. He wasn't abusive as such but was a manipulative shit and was two timing me the whole time. Fairly openly in retrospect.
Anyway he said he'd found himself, felt bad about how he'd treated me etc, sorry. I replied saying basically 'I read what you say but I'm actually not going to give you forgiveness. you're right, you were a shit to me and I don't think you deserve my forgiveness'
He never replied, but I think it was an old email which I stopped checking, I've forgotten.
Another ~5 years later he found me on FB and sent some pathetic message calling me babe or chick and asking why my hair was so dark now (natural colour now, bleach blonde while with him which obv he preferred). It had a wink in it too and was cringe. I thought about what to reply for a couple of days then just forgot all about it and only remembered months later. I was so chuffed that someone once very important to me just fell out my brain easily now! No idea how he feels that I didn't reply but I really don't care.

OP in your situation I'd ignore. Fuck knows what he'll conclude but it doesn't matter, that's for his brain to think about, not yours. Who cares if he thinks you're still hurt? It is irrelevant.

There's nothing more liberating is there, Kiki ! I remember those feelings after break-ups, It's like opening the fridge slowly to see when the light comes on, though-there's no definitive moment!Just suddenly, you're over it!

Absolutely do not reply! You are too busy being awesome and enjoying life and really cannot remember who he was anyway. Chin, Chin! Cheers! (clink).

Don't trust a word he says

Thank you