Holiday Romance

[beachyhead61]

Hi everyone, bit of a strange first post, not sure if i'm in the right place or even on the right forum.
My sister in law, a hard working divorced single mum to 3 teenagers, has just returned from a trip to Goa India, she has visited about 4 or 5 times with a female friend of hers.
On her return she announces she is engaged to an Indian guy she has known for about 4 years, this has come as a complete shock to the family as we had no idea.
The Indian guy is about 14 years younger than her she is 49 in a couple of months and apparently a waiter at one of the beach shacks.
Maybe i'm being paranoid, but it all seems to good to be true, i'm happily married so it's not jealousy lol,
I know non of us know where we might find love and maybe I've read to many horror stories in the women's mags, but i'm worried her (and the kids) might get badly hurt
I've a feeling her and her friend might be sending money to this guy and maybe his family members
I think the intention is for him to move to the UK, although she realises that it could take "years"
She is reluctant to talk about it much and although I can see that it is her business, find it odd that she isn't wanting to tell the world if she feels he is the right one, she seems totally besotted with him and the whole Indian culture (she is white British)
I'm told that these guys will say what ever they think the western women want to hear in order to get sex (and money)
Am I right to feel concerned
Thanks for reading

I think you have to trust her judgement, support her.

Think of it from her perspective....she's found the love of her life, wants to marry him. How crushed would she feel if all her familly are against it!

I'd also feel concerned if someone I knew was marrying a man she'd met (if I read it right) four or five times and I'd be particularly worried if they were sending them money. It's a scam as old as the hills.... foolish, lonely old women are taken advantage of all the time. Very little you can do about it unfortunately.

I'd be worried. Too many stories that start just like the one you've told. Of course she could be "the exception", but I'd find it unlikely specially if she's sending him money.

I would try to speak to her if possible, easier now than when she's married!!

Does she earn over £16k? Because if not she won't be able to bring him over.

I'd be very concerned, yes.

Whether you can do anything about it except that supporting her through the good times and the hopefully not but predictable heartache, then probably not much.
I'd just try and ensure she doesn't risk her children's future for this man.

I married my holiday romance (Egypt) and 5.5 years on we're living in th UK and very happy.

BUT I have also seen so many ladies being lied to and manipulated - far more than the success stories. The age difference is normally a red flag.

Her plans to bring him here may not work as immigration are really tight now. She will have to prove she is earning £18,600 per year if she does not have dependent children, the figure is higher if she has dependents. He will have to pass English exams and a Life in the UK test. The cost of applying for the visa is around a thousand pounds which is non refundable. They have to prove that there relationship is real and ongoing, and that there is a substantial reason why they can not build their life in his country. It is not an easy process and it is often refused. What would their plan be then??

She may be the exception to the norm and if she is then I feel for her as it is horrid to be in a relationship everyone is doubting. Been there but family and friends have now seen the proof that we are genuine and love him too. I hope this is the case for her but the odds are stacked against her.

I agree very concerning but what can you do? Even if you print off horror stories and thrust them under her nose she is not going to be convinced is she.

Oh god when will these women learn.

Middle aged women who find much younger uneducated men abroad on holiday who profess undying love are being used for a visa/meal ticket. That's it.

Thanks for all your comments, at least I'm not the only one who would feel concerned.
To be honest I'm probably more concerned about the kids if it goes wrong, they have been through a hard time with her divorce a few years ago, she is old enough to make her own choices, although I do think it is a case of love is blind at the moment.
I younger guy giving her attention etc. is probably good for the ego, but it almost seems to good to be true, she is a middle aged mum, slightly overweight and by her own admission not a page three stunner.
I hope I'm wrong and it is genuine love they share for each other, but somehow I can't believe that
We all know that there is nothing like that feeling of being in love, she is not going to have anything said against the relationship at the moment.
Her reluctance to discuss it puzzles me, or does she have her own doubts.
Thanks again