has anyone been in a refuge? we are in one

[legofansmum]

Tomorrow will be our third week. Its nice to be away from ex and not be jumpy and afraid like we were in our flat. Can nowogo to the shop or the local town without shaking and looking over shoulder.
I was so scared of coming here but its transforming our lives and we will be rehoused away from him for good DS is happy which makea it even more worthwhile.
To anyone thinking of accepting a place please do if its your only way to escape. We have a long way to travel yet on our journey but it is the right one and hopefully means freedom.
I had a meeting with my keyworker today and she said that it was a particuarly bad case and he was a very dangerous man who ticked seven areas of the domestic violence wheel several times over. I had always been made to feel it was all my fault and I was mad and 'not right in the head.'
Any tips from anyone who has fled to a refuge and rebuilt their life ? Thanks

Never been in this situation, but just wanted to say well done on getting out!

Well done you! So glad it's working out for you and for your ds!

Well done!

I didn,t need a refuge but got out of a violent relationship, best thing I ever did for me and DC.

Not an easy path but so worth it...

So glad things are improving for you and your DS. Onwards and upwards!

I am so glad you got out, I can't imagine what you must have been through - all continuing power and safety to you both x

Refuges get mentioned a lot on here, but yours is the only first hand experience I ve heard of. I wondered how it panned out in real life, thanks for letting us know. Glad to hear your life is getting better, long may it continue. What is it they say? Fortune favours the brave? Hope things continue to look up for you and mini legofan.

I don't have any personal experience, but two of my friends spent time in refuges with their mothers as children. Both are happy, successful and speak warmly of the chance the refuge gave them and their mums (who they see as heroes). Good luck to you, and so happy for you.

Well done on getting out. That step is one of the hardest. Good luck for the future x

I Had To Go Into A Refuge When I Left My Ex It Was Only For A Week Because I Moved In With An Aunt But It Was A Positive Experience For Me And I Met Some Really Nice People.

Well done for getting out. I spent 3 months in a refuge when my DS was a baby. The main thing I would say is to use the time to access all the support you can, with legal, benefits, housing, or whatever else you need. I made sure to take advantage of the advice and referrals etc that were on offer by being in the refuge, so make the most of it.

It's also good that you are getting out and about in town, definitely keep doing this. I made sure to get out and about everyday, to baby groups or even just the library, to meet new people and build up a life 'beyond the refuge.' This is important as I saw quite a few women who had been there several months and were struggling with the transition of moving out as they hadn't engaged in life outside of the refuge at all.

Also if and when you do move on, see if they offer an outreach service for continued support. I used to see a lady who would visit me at home when I needed it, attend court hearings with me and they would also organise gatherings,trips and so on.

Good luck!x

Thank you all. Finding things difficult today. DS is unwell and has been off school this week. Last week was half term. He has ASD so can be difficult to manage. It is so nice to have peace here but challenging to.keep DS happy and entertained.