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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Has anyone moved away to get away from toxic mother?

13 replies

sezamcgregor · 03/06/2014 19:55

It comes in waves. She's a nightmare, we argue, I apologise and she's OK for a while, then she starts again and the cycle continues....

I'm starting to think that the only way to make my situation any better is to just move away.

I know that NCing her is an option and I know that I don't have to see her, but we live on the same street and my DS adores her.

So, has anyone else moved away and have a success story to share with me...?

OP posts:

bauhausfan · 03/06/2014 20:05

I'm NC with most of my immediate family and live in a different country. The relief is exquisite ;) and I have no regrets.

ROUNDandROUNDINCIRCILESMORETHA · 03/06/2014 20:05

We moved away. Becareful she doesnt move too which is what close family of ours did we just wanted a fresh start. I hope more people can share positive stories.

castlesintheair · 03/06/2014 20:09

I also moved abroad and it definitely makes life easier. Was already NC but the threat of running into them has been removed.

Petrasmumma · 03/06/2014 20:19

NC here too. Distance works perfectly for us. :)

TheMuppetsIsWhereIShouldBe · 03/06/2014 20:26

Recently changed my mobile number to stop my 'D'M contacting me, NC for around a month atm, would like to move as she lives about 2 miles away in the same area but don't know if I'm strong enough to move. Would love to though!

Meerka · 03/06/2014 20:38

when I went to uni, I made sure it was far enough away from either parent to avoid having to visit. Now I live abroad and am safe!

Original poster

sezamcgregor · 03/06/2014 20:42

She'd definitely not move as well!!

I'm thinking about it more and more. It's just us two, but I have no credit score and currently live in a HA house. I work in admin so don't have a huge salary. Just think that the emotional gain might make it worth while.

I don't think moving abroad is an option ;-) Though thinking about Scotland!

OP posts:

BosieDufflecoat · 03/06/2014 20:42

I moved away for uni, and then stayed away for years because of toxic DM. It was lovely. Whole new life. Whole new me. I recommend it.

SanityClause · 03/06/2014 20:45

Yep. I'm in the UK; she's in Ausralia. Just about far enough.

Original poster

sezamcgregor · 03/06/2014 21:03

I moved away (loved it) then came back for a summer - that was 9 years ago :/

I think it is time to move on.....

OP posts:

grumpasaur · 03/06/2014 22:36

Moved all the way to London from Canada. Best decision I ever made.

GoodtoBetter · 03/06/2014 22:42

I went abroad (admittedly before I realised she was toxic - thought she was just a bit needy) and she bloody well followed me!

Zazzles007 · 04/06/2014 00:56

Yep, apparently I 'ran away' from her the first time as I went away to a university 3 hours away . Blessings in disguise, eh?

Then I went overseas for 2 years, and got a chance to see how normal, functioning people actually behave.

When I came back from overseas, I lived there for 3 months, but moved again as soon I got a job, which was too far away to commute from, and have lived away from her since. I am just over an hour away from my toxic mother and father, but these days it is enough as they don't like to drive distances. Two years ago, I also went NC with them and the peace and calm has just been fantastic .

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