Need to divorce abusive H but can't get legal aid.

[MsSelinaKyle]

I desperately need some advice please.

My ex is extremely abusive, to the point that social services have said he is not allowed to ever see the dc. I really need to proceed with a divorce but I'm not entitled to legal aid and have no money. Where can I go to get advice or help.
I desperate to get this sorted but feel really lost and totally overwhelmed. :-(

Are there any marital assets such as property?

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/
www.womensaid.org.uk/landing_page.asp?section=000100010018

try here
best wishes for the future
one day soon, the sun will shine again

There are no marital assets. He owns a house but there is little equity and we never lived there. I just need to be free of him. It's making me feel ill that I'm still his wife.

I'll have a look at that link. Thank you x

If you have been assessed by social services as being at risk of DV in the past two years you can use this to claim legal aid. You need a copy of the assessment with both your names, or a letter confirming it. If you have been referred to marac that will also do apparently.

Once you've been separated for a number of years, divorce is a much cheaper affair - just court costs.

If you really cannot afford a solicitor, it might be an option.

You don't actually need a lawyer to get divorced, especially if there are no assets and SS will back you up on contact for the DCs, and the petition itself doesn't cost very much. You can self represent although I recognise that prospect may be terrifying to you.

What about online divorces. They're meant to be cheap and quick.

I don't mind the thought of doing it myself but where do I even begin?

It's all so complicated. There are no recorded cases of his abuse against me. I only talk to my GP about it once about the rape that took place.

Ss got involved because after we seperated he was arrested for downloading images of child abuse from the Internet. He has apparently admitted it to the police and is currently on police bail.

How do you know for certain you won't get legal aid? Rape is very serious domestic violence and it'll be in your GP's notes. You really need to talk to women's aid.

I'm going to try phoning them tomorrow when the dc aren't around. I'm scared of talking to people about the rape. It was only one time.

Are you sure you can't get legal aid? Legal aid is still available for Domestic Violence cases.

The gp's notes will also count as evidence for legal aid, who old you you were not eligible?

If you can't get legal aid (and you should see if you can) then you can get the forms from your local county court (or download them from the web). You will need to complete a divorce petition and a statement of arrangements for children. You will also need your original marriage certificate and £410 for the Court fees. You will need to send three copies of each of the forms to your local County Court for issuing.

You can divorce him for his unreasonable behaviour. You just need a few examples, it sounds as if you will have plenty. You can probably get a free half hour with a local solicitor to go through the papers before you send them to the Court just to check for errors. Good luck!

A solicitor told me but he didn't ask for many details. I told home about ex's arrest but I didn't tell him about the rape. He was really rushing me too. As soon as he realised I didn't have the money to hire him he lost interest.

Sorry Selina, I've nothing constructive to offer but wanted you to know I'm sending you strength & courage. Only 1 rape is 1 too many. Have you talked to www.womensaid.org.uk/ ? I'm sure they will support you thru it all

Can you ask your local DV support to recommend a solicitor? Otherwise take a look for local family law firms, they will do a lot of care orders etc and be used to legal aid. The solicitor was wrong by the way.

Hello,
According to my solicitor, the law changed (again) re divorce, there is some sort of court order you can obtain so that your H has to pay the divorce costs.
Might be worth getting a few free half hours legal advice from various sols. Good luck. Can empathise as in similar situation.

Thanks for the replies. Really appreciate all your advice. Not been able to get hold of WA yet but Im going to make some more phone calls in the morning. I think it's definitely worth getting some free legal advice.

I just hate explaining what happened to people. I feel so humiliated that I actually married this monster. I actually find myself wishing he's just go and kill himself. I know that sounds wicked but I'm struggling to deal with it.

Three separate things;

i) Divorce - ending the marriage. The only 'evidence' the court requires is your brief list of ways STBXH has been unreasonable, with your signature stating it is true. 'Less is more' for the divorce petition, there is no advantage in laying it on thick, because this will only provoke him to deny & defend and waste time. You do not need a solicitor for this and you can get started asap. If you receive certain benefits you will be exempt from the court fee. You may get a costs order (that he pays the costs) but probably not.

ii) Finances - dividing the assets and sorting the money. From what you say there are no capital assets, just the little equity in his house. But do not overlook pensions (which can be shared) and future maintenance, or the possibility of claiming maintenance. Even if you think 'I do not want a penny from him', you might do well to keep the door open to claiming monthly maintenance if you lost your job/became seriously ill/ could not provide for the DC. BTW this does not refer to payment for child support which is not done through the court but through CSA (or whatever they are called this week). You can do all this yourself, but it is usually a very good idea to have at least one advice session with a solicitor. There is no rush. This part can wait.

iii) Children. If SS have recommended ' no contact', it will be difficult for STBXH to persuade the court to order contact. I am assuming DC are with you. You have a few options here. You could do nothing, refuse any contact, and let STBXH make the running if he wants to try to see the DC. But if he is likely to take action, you could not prevent him from seeing DC - eg he would have as much right as you to pick them up from school. So probably better for you to apply for a child arrangements order yourself (new terminology). SS should support you and you can use their assessments and reports in court. This is separate from the divorce. It would have its own timetable if it went to court. You can take your time to think this over, and decide how to play things, unless you believe you need to take urgent action. You can definitely do this bit without a solicitor, but legal advice may make you feel more confident.