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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can my marriage survive?

38 replies

amiami · 03/09/2006 12:38

Reading the bj thread has made me cry. My dh and I have absolutely no sex life. We have been together 4 yrs, married for 18 months, dd is 9 months. And we are missing out on so much closeness. The situation has totally destroyed his self confidence. Our lives just seem to run in parallel without physical intimacy to connect us. I think that our dd is keeping us together. I want us both to be happy and fulfilled but I don't know how to fix it.

I have no-one to talk to about this. Please help.

OP posts:
pedilia · 05/09/2006 08:47

lilmolly- you are brave facing this I have been trying up the courage to go to relate with DH but am absolutely terrified.

I know my total lack of affection towards DH is due to childhood sexual abuse and a whole host of other issues and I cannot face it at present, but I will follow with interest how you guys get on. Good luck

amiami · 06/09/2006 15:06

I really admire your courage lillymolly. I have decided to postpone seeking counselling for a month or two - we are moving to a different area and I think it would be sensible to find help once we are there. In the meantime we are going to try Liquidclocks approach.I am interested to know how you have got your DHs to understand that the problem isn't that you simply don't fancy them anymore. I have tried to go through with it out of a similar sense of duty but I think that hurt DH even more. DH find it hards to accept that I still find him attractive but have no desire to act on it. It is simply as though a switch was turned off one morning and all libido disappeared. I too went to the gp - thought it could be hormonal. He simply said how sorry he felt for dh!

If I ever get him to finish work before 9pm we will have a nice evening together and talk this all through.

OP posts:
lilymolly · 06/09/2006 15:28

Hi- what ever decision you make , i hope it works our for you- the liquidclocks approach may work for you and I hope it does... Re dh fancying thing- its never really become an issue to him (at least i dont think it has) will ask him tonight!! If dh is at work everynight till 9pm then is that not a problem??
Think I have to deal with issues in order for us to move on, but it is sooooooooo hard!
X

liquidclocks · 07/09/2006 09:23

Hi, you're probably right to wait until you move as there's no point starting anything, building a rapport and then having to leave. I think with DH I never actually said 'I don't fancy you anymore' though that's pretty much how I felt. I told him that I still thought he was gorgeous but I just couldn't face sex (with anyone - even if Brad Pitt had turned up!). I suppose I took the responsibility for the not having sex myself and acknowledged that it wasn't 'his' problem IYSWIM? Having said that, I made it clear to him that although it was my problem I couldn't fix it by myself and I needed him to help me by working with me to rebuild our sex life. I know my DH was hurt by me not wanting sex with him but the one thing he'd always say was that he loved me no matter what and he'd never leave me over not having sex, it wasn't that important.

I think it might help your DH understand if you can find a way of explaining how you feel about sex and why you think you feel that way, leaving out anything that's to do with his behaviour because realistically, if you didn't feel how you feel, him coming on to you would be nice and make you feel good so there's nothing actually 'wrong' with what he's doing under normal circumstances. What you're trying to aim for is to shift any blame away from him and instead tap into his love for you and protectiveness that men have for their women, his natural instinct then will be to help you rather than going on the defence because he feels he's being attacked.

I think this is pretty much what I told DH: (Because men in general aren't so good at the emotional side of things I explained all this to DH in very 'physical' terms and tried not to let it get too coloured with how I felt - just stuck to the facts) I explained that sex hurt me because when I had the baby I'd had an injury that had affected my sensation. I then explained that when you know something is about to cause pain you tense up and become fearful of that event which obviously meant I couldn't relax for sex and then it hurt even more and that this became a vicious cycle. I then talked about how this fear of pain meant that when he touched me and made me think of sex all I could think of was the hurt and that's why even touching me had become difficult but that also I wasn't really as comfortable in my own skin as before DS came along andI found it difficult to 'feel' sexy with all the horrible stretchmarks being pregnant had left. (OK, bit of emotion at the end but it was my emotion about me)

I'm sure you will have your own reasons why sex is difficult but if you explain them in terms of I and me rather than you and your then I think it's more likely to result in a conversation as oppose to and argument.

Do you find sex painful amiami where your scar is? If you do then what my GP (and yours sounds like a proper chauvanist) told me was to buy some KY Jelly and do lots of perineal massage and also to use it with DH whenever we did have sex - this definitely helped me physically.

I had the problem with DH working late too, it drove me nuts. I think I just told him that he had to stop ifhe wanted to work at our marriage! One of our big problems I think was that we'd rehashed things so many times and little misunderstandings had turned into great big issues. We had to agree to start over and really listen to what eachother had to say. I think really the best place is accross a table (for us)- it's a protective barrier that stops us ending up just cuddling and then not talking about what upset us, but also it forces us to look at eachother and I think that's really important (better than in bed in the dark or on the sofa watching tv). You also have to agree to stay there until both of you have had your say and not to talk over eachother. Repeating back what the other person has said to check that you understand is good too, thing is to repeat what they actually say, not your interpretation of what they said.

Once you've got that far, then you work on an 'action plan' tell each other what you need and agree on how you plan to achieve it. For us it was to build up physical intimacy without having sex - funnily enough when we did do it I think it made DH feel more loved too which was a really nice bonus.

Bit of an essay again, hope it's got some useful ideas, I have got your thread in my watch list now if you want to talk. Big and good luck.

lilymolly · 07/09/2006 10:09

God Liquidclocks- your last post was really helpful... Going to try the perineal massage, as I had episiotomy and even using tampons is painful, never mind a willy!! Also going to talk to dp tonight after massage session!
soooooo pleased everything has worked for you.a little bit of though!

liquidclocks · 07/09/2006 11:46

Glad it's helpful lilymolly - don't feel , it's been hard work and we're still working at it, no relationship is ever perfect is it? If you love eachother you'll find a way if you just hang in there. The perineal massage might hurt a bit to start with but because you're in control of the pain it's bearable - good luck tonight!

I'm about to be plunged into it all agin in 3 weeks anyway but hopefully this time around DH will understand better what is happening and we'll find it easier.

I also didn't mention earlier but for women who BF (don't know if you guys do) it's really natural to crave your own 'personal' space because it can feel like your body is no longer yours and in constant demand from other people.

joelallie · 07/09/2006 12:19

liquidclocks - "I also didn't mention earlier but for women who BF (don't know if you guys do) it's really natural to crave your own 'personal' space because it can feel like your body is no longer yours and in constant demand from other people."

That is exactly how I feel !! I've been pregnant or bfing for 10 years and my own little bit of space is EXACTLY what I need. I love the nights when DH is out and I get to go to bed with a book and read alone and in peace! Bliss! I think that unless you've been there that would sound plain odd. Doesn't mean I don't love him very much. I also think that the general stresses around habing LOs makes everything so much harder.

liquidclocks · 07/09/2006 13:09

That's a long stretch joelallie - no wonder you feel like having a bit of space! I found it hard enough FF and just having things constantly demanded of me. A really good strategy I've found is to go for an hour long bath on a saturday afternoon - make DH do the kiddy-bonding thing and have some time to myself - btw my bath has to include cup of tea and a biscuit, essential oils (love jasmine at the moment), a good book and nice music (so I can't hear DS!). These little rituals are my saving grace when it comes to my sanity!

amiami · 07/09/2006 13:09

Liquidclocks I just hope that DH and I can work as a team in the same way that you have been able too. Your advice is amazing. DH is only 24 and was quite coy about talking about sex before so it is going to be hard for him to go through this process. But it will really help to explain it in the way you suggest. As you say his advances would be lovely under normal circumstances.

I find sex v painful - had to put a pillow over my head to bite on and hide my grimaces last time we tried. Poor DH! It put him off a bit. We obviously stopped. Poor DH! We did laugh about it afterwards though - we have kept a sense of humour about things for the main part. Will try the massage.

The work thing is difficult - he works from home a lot so is here in body but not in mind. He is very work driven and chasing a pay rise which would help us a lot. But obviously we can't have long sensible discussions if he is not willing to turn his sodding laptop off.

I do BF and can identify with the need for space. I found that so hard at the start - this little being needing you physically constantly. I am not a tactile person. And now I see my breasts as DDs not as sexual objects at all and I HATE DH touching them.

God we've got a lot to sort out. On top of the house move, changing the car, starting a new job in a fortnight and the cat having kittens any day!

OP posts:
liquidclocks · 07/09/2006 21:59

Oh amiami, it does sound like you're going through a time of lots of change and stress, that can't be helping your situation either. I really hope the massage helps you on the physical side of things.

I'm not sure if age has anything to do with how your DH will cope with your situation, hopefully it's more about the sort of person he is. My DH is 36 and I'm 25 and while I think his general life experience helps this is still the first time he's ever had a wife and a baby, and sex with a woman who's just had a baby - it's something all fathers must deal with at some point! I haven't met a woman for a while (who I've actually discussed sex after childbirth with) who hasn't experienced some degree of discomfort during sex after giving birth vaginally.

Are you moving far? Will you have the opportunity to go out and spend time on your own/make new friends?

flannelettepyjamas · 08/09/2006 00:07

Hi, sorry to barge in but I'd just like to add that BFing can affect the way sex feels by causing (extreme in some cases) vaginal dryness. I had an elective CS and had quite severe pain during sex for a few months afterwards. We used buckets of KY which did help. Why add this? I guess it might be a psychologcal barrier to feel that you have been 'injured' by a vaginal birth and that that is the cause of your problems,when it may not be.
There's some really good advice on this thread. Good luck.

liquidclocks · 08/09/2006 08:52

I had no idea that could happen FP - thanks. I'll keep it in mind too as I'm planning to BF my new LO.

lilymolly · 08/09/2006 15:27

I have friend who have had c/s deliverys and still had pain with sex after. I am not breastfeeding however, I stopped when dd was 4 months old.

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