I want to change my divorce solicitor. I have felt out of control ever since I started seeing her. She is very gungo ho and is keen that I have all equity in house with xp getting his share (she says 20%) when my 2 ds have reached 18. Ds are 6 and 7. Last week xp offered me 75% equity in house, and considering our circumstances and history, I think it's fair. Having said that, both of us will struggle financially and probably have to go for shared ownership options. I'm on income support, having previously worked for xp's business, which is not practical or desirable now. Am planning to job hunt/work when divorce feels in my control. But my solicitor wants more from xp although I'm happy. I'm emotionally in pieces with the whole divorce and feel really lonely and isolated in all my decisions.
From everything I've read about solicitors, you are supposed to be able to talk to them, not be afraid of them and they are there to act on your instructions. I feel very led, she's not interested in the emotional fallout, just the result, and and she's dressing me down for having a concsience about xp will cope if he gets zero now and has to wait 10 years to see a share. This result would anger him and how xp copes will affect ds's blow up hate war and therefore affect me. If I followed her advice it would be a bitter victory. There are cultural and family politics which will be timebombs both here and overseas which Solicitor would handle with hob nail boots. Although my xp has hurt me (long story), I'm not looking for revenge, just peace, and Sols advice will start a war again, just as we've finally reached an agreement. I'm a bit suspicious that it's in the interests of some solicitors to keep parties baying for eachother's blood while their fees pile up nicely. His solicitor is suggesting a similar fight. She has also told me in a patronising way that my legal aid (and I know LA is a loan) will only be about ?4 or ?5k which is "nothing - most of my clients are paying about ?20k and I usually work for ?180 ph whereas I'm on ?50 ph for your legal aid." She makes me feel that I'm an insignificant charity case. She's also said I need to have the "bottle". I've had no exp of Solicitors before this is quite an exp for me!
Also from what I've read, I hear that couples should agree settlements between them if poss, to keep solicitor's fees down and I feel we have agreed but our solicitors are not.
This is all about money now and we both need to keep our costs down. Would it be a good idea to see a solicitor together as a couple to cut out the legal sniping? Obviously if we do, it won't be on legal aid.
I'm all over the place. Don't know if this post makes much sense. I have no exp on Sols, as I said before, so my comments may seem incredibly naive. I don't know the procedure for changing a solicitor. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.