Ive been watching this group for a while and i really need to perceptive on my marriage, when your living it every day it can be hard to be level headed although i am very calm and rational in nature.
I married my DH in 2010, i didnt know it at the time he was an over-stayer on a visitors visa. When we married i was 6months pregnant with DS so i was in the situation and i loved him so went ahead with spouse visa application and tried to make the best of the situation although it was hard being the sole earner, i also have 3 other children from my previous marriage.
My husband as he had his visa through got a job and looks after our son 2 days a week. He is in nursery for 3 days as DH works nights.
Its seems as he now has his visa and a level of independence he has started to try and be controlling and abusive to me.
He will only give me £400 a month towards Dss nursery fees of £700 and not a 1p for the household, i work full time and get no tax credits and really struggle to pay everything alone but he doesnt care and says he needs to have a life, he didnt come to this country for this!
Today he springs on me that from next week he will be working days so i need to think about what i am doing with DS as he wont be having him anymore.. no discussion and 1 weeks notice!! I said we need to talk about it and he said there is nothing to talk about!
He also said he would be better off living with a friend as that wouldnt cost him more than £500!
He wont eat with us as he wants to eat his food, i do everything, school run, nursery runs, sort out DS for bed, get up with him to breakfast and then work all day, come home and hes off to work so do everything all night for DS and DDs....
I really feel like just changing the locks and being on my own but worry about DS and how he will react if his dad goes.
He refuses to come on days out with us and i also do that alone. He says he needs time to himself
The only time he is civil is when i need to do immigration forms or appeals for his family members or wants sex .... Should tell me everything really... i feel so stupid!
I have just got a new job paying much better money and i feel he is putting obstacles in the way to make this as difficult as possible by changing childcare arrangements at the minute and suchlike
I have started a diary and going through it reminds me of how bad it really is. He keeps saying he is the main carer for DS which is bollocks! he says he will get residency, at christmas i also believed DH was going to run off with DS so hid his passport, i dont trust him not to take him out the country!
What other evidence do i need to get together? i feel i am going to have a real fight on my hands!!
Thanks for reading i know it is long xx