Come tell me off.

[Imsuchamess]

I have had a best friend since I was two I tell him everything. We had a year long relationship and I loved him to pieces still do. He broke things off and refused to give a explanation. Well I have major trust issues and he told me he tells me everything.

Well someone I know just told me he caught my friend having sex with another man a few years ago. I know I have no right to feel like this but I'm upset he didn't tell me. I know he is under no obligation to tell me about his private life. So I'm angry at myself for being upset. I just feel like maybe we are not as close as I thought. So come give me a kick up the arse and tell me it's none of my buisness.

It's none of your business.

Everyone has secrets, you don't know that this was a fact, and anyway, you're not in a relationship with him.

I know Melanie that's why I'm pissed at myself.

Why would you believe the gossip over your long-standing friend?

I would like him even more for proving he is trusting

I understand what you are saying.
He's your best friend. He has said that he tells you everything, but now you have found out some thing quite major that he didn't tell you.

So he has lied to you by omission and that is what is hurting you.

Do you think if you hadn't had the relationship with him that this would upset you less?

Sometimes when a friendship turns into a romantic relationship, it can never go back to being the same as it used to be. I can't work out from your post if you are male or female but, if you're female and this guy is (allegedly) gay or bi, that's a pretty tough conversation to have - even with your best friend but especially with your ex lover.

I am female and yes I am wondering if that's why he broke up with me. I won't ask him though as it's none of my buisness and if he doesn't want to share then he obviously has good reasons for that. I'm sure he will tell me if it's true when he is ready. I was just a little shocked if I'm honest and now if thought about it I'm not sure it's true as we had a misunderstanding during sex once and he reacted to it like a heterosexual man and not a bisexual man. So I'm just going to forget about it. But if it is true then it won't change how I feel about him in any way so it doesn't really matter.

Shocker! Gay/bi man hides sexuality! errr not really. Don't give it a seconds thought, you sound like fab friends but he's entitled to his privacy.

He may or may not be gay/ bi. He may or may not have been experimenting. It may not even be true.

It doesn't matter either way so I'm not going to think about it no more. I still love him and he is still my best friend it changes absolutely nothing. So I'm just going to forget about it.

I think that's the best way forward - wishing you well.