my flatmate

[OurMiracle1106]

Here goes. We are very close. Have been since me n him moved into our flatshare ten months ago. Though there are two others me and him are by far the closest. We talk we text n we chill.

However I'm a little worried as he seems very depressed (has been doctors) he recently lost his job and had stopped going uni a few weeks before. He's sleeping alot and seems just sad tbh. I'm thinking I've not helped either having met someone though they haven't yet met.

I really do care about him. Probably more than I should. But the feelings are mutual. But he can't commit ro a relationship. We had that chat a while ago.

Posted too soon.
How can I help him? I dunno what else to do. I keep th flat nice, make sure there is food to eat, told him im always here. I just wanna see him back to the person I moved in with tbh. .

I've suffered depression and still do.

You say 'has been doctors' so does that mean he's getting treatment? Does the uni reference mean that he's pretty young? If so, do his family know that he's struggling?

With the kindest of intentions - why are you taking on such a position? You aren't his girlfriend.
If you care about him then you do what you have done, you advise him to go to the gp and you offer moral support. As an adult he has to take further steps himself, he has the right not to even if everyone can see that is a bad decision.

You need to separate that from whatever ersatz relationship you have built up, the comments about reciprocal feelings and keeping the flat nice, really it's not healthy to be dancing around this drama - he can't commit to a relationship, you are seeing someone else. You don't sound like you have very good boundaries or a clearly defined situation.
You said it might be because you had met someone - why shouldn't you? If you aren't together with your flatmate then you aren't breaking a loyalty, you also aren't responsible for him or how he chooses to deal with his feelings.

Of course everyone wants to help a friend but if you aren't clearly there as a friend then it is not actually a help. You seem to have the two issues conflated.
His emotional wellbeing is not your responsibility. Advising him to seek help as you are worried & being a platonic support is what friends do. Keening over his wellbeing and angsting over the fact it may be your boyfriend and keeping house for him is just adding a layer of stress to the situation that isn't healthy.

He sounds like he's having a hard time, I would be cautious about your involvement though - in reality you are flatmates and friends nothing more. Family support, his gp and his best friends should all be there for him. It's not for you to fix, be wary of falling into a codependancy that won't help either of you.

You might be better having a word with his uni tutor. Has he quit uni or does he have a sick note? He can get extenuating circumstances and pick it up when he feels better. Or maybe encourage him to go home to his family. Do they know? Can you tell them?

Either way I doubt your the answer to his problems.

Good luck with your studies! And a nice caring attitude like yours is a nice character trait