we are only together for our child

[irgmama]

me and my lgs have been together for 5 years and for 3.5 of those years we havent wanted to be with each other we dont love each other dont spend anytime together unless its with lg we literally are only together to avoid the hassle of disrupting our lg are we the only ones ?

*lgs dad

My grandparents did this for 60 years.

My grandad confided in me when he was 76 years old that he had been in love with someone else and on the rebound, with a broken heart, married my grandmother.

My grandmother has serious mental health issues exasebated by 60 years in an unhappy marriage.

My grandad died still trapped in a loveless and relentlessly unhappy marriage.

Neither my mum or her sister are grateful for their staying together "for them".... Quite the opposite in fact, my mum feels guilty that her parents lead largely joyless lives under the guise of doing it for her.

If you're unhappy you should leave, OP. Life is short and no one gave my grandad a medal for spending 60 of his 81 years unhappy.

I agree with the PP. In the long run, your DDs life could potentially be more disruptive if you stay together for her sake. I personally would feel extremely guilty if my parents stayed together, unhappily, for my benefit. Right now she's probably too young to understand, but she'll probably end up with a better relationship with both of you seperately once she gets older, rather than you both being together and you being unhappy.

My parents fall out a lot and there's always an atmosphere in their home. I hate going round to their house, so much so I avoid it, and when I do go, I stay very very briefly as they both fend for my attention. This could happen to you.

I think the strained relationship of two adults is too big a responsibility to put on the shoulders of little kids. 'Look kids... we've wasted our whole lives avoiding each other & being unhappy... FOR YOU!'

What disrupts children is living in a bad atmosphere. Doesn't matter if you're together or apart.