Cheating related website - helpful advice needed

[ifailatlife]

Hello Mumsnet! I'm a regular visitor to this site but have name changed because this is a totally different subject to the one I usually talk about.

I'm a guy who has recently left work to start my own business ventures. I can do pretty much anything that is website related. Not wanting to waste my talent, I have decided to start a few of my own websites. The one I will talk about here is probably the most important to me, as it's close to home.

I only have to come on here or a male forum to see that cheating is a huge problem in society today. I'm not saying the majority of people cheat, but there are many affairs going on that pretty much destroy families (I should know, my family were subject to a few).

I know that people's opinions on the subject vary, and some people don't like to get involved, but I am of the strong belief that if someone is cheating on their wife, partner or husband, the innocent party really deserves the right to be told. Some people don't agree with this, and affairs are going on all across the world where lots of people know but don't tell the person who is being cheated on, even if they are friends. The reason for this obviously varies, but some people don't think it's their business and others don't want to be blamed for the fall-out. These are all valid reasons but I have an idea that I'm debating working on.

My site will be for people who know affairs are going on and to act as an anonymous tip off service (I say service, but won't charge any money). If I am satisfied that the suspicions are authentic, I will post, naming and shaming the people involved. I have had a very successful career so far as a marketer, so getting the site out there would not be a problem whatsoever. The only stumbling block so far is the potential embarrassment of the person being cheated on (dirty laundry in public etc)..

So my question for you Mumsnetters is this. If someone was cheating on you, would you rather be kept in the dark about it or they be outed in public and you find out about their infidelity.

Any suggestions would be great.

Thanks for reading.

That sounds like a very quick way to be

I'm afraid my response is fairly blunt. I wouldn't touch such a website (for any reason) with a bargepole.

That sounds like a very quick way to being wrapped up in a series of civil law suits. I can see you losing profits to legal costs very fast!

How can you possibly authenticate? You will be at great risk of posting false claims and ruin lives as a result.

How about a site offering emotional support, counselling information and legal advice for those affected?

No. Just no. I'm all for spouses being told about their partners infidelity, but who on earth would ever want that made public?

A small minority, perhaps. But I can't think of many men or women that would want that sort of humiliating experience Ffs.

Just no.

I thought you were going to say an anonymous service that would alert the innocent party, using an email address or social media profile...even that would be pretty bad, though.

Finding out publicly would be horrific. A lot of the time, the innocent party wouldn't see it themselves, either - someone would need to direct them to the site.

You'd need to consider the legal aspect of what's happening, too. Your information may seem authentic, but it could be a ploy to publicly embarrass someone, or to upset them or their partner. I don't think it would take long for someone to sue you, if you post things like this on the internet.

I'm afraid I'm another who doesn't like the idea! My ex cheated on me and I found it so humiliating I couldn't tell anyone for a few weeks! No way would I want someone putting it on a website for all to see.

Also, how could you possibly prove an affair was going on? All you'd have is someone's word? Sounds like a huge law suit waiting to happen I'm afraid.

A support website would be a good idea though :)

Are you planning on turning it into an edgy new reality show when you get enough juicy dob ins?

You need to consult with a lawyer about the legal liability of doing something like this.

Google "online defamation" or "cyber-libel" - especially look at a recent Texas lawsuit where the victims were awarded $13 million by a jury. The victims were accused of things on a website forum (topix) by anonymous posters that weren't true.

Also once you name names and other people can google these peoples' locations - you could have crazy nutjobs "taking matters into their own hands" based on information you have posted. Or perhaps they think they have the right people and they don't.

The risk is huge.

No and just one of the hundreds of reasons as to why not, is not everybody want the world and its mother to know your private business. I would be mortified if I was with someone who cheated and it was posted on www.

I cannot be sure, but if the choice was 'kept in dark' v 'public outung' then I'm pretty sure it's a resounding 'neither'.

Yes, I think I would want to know. But would want to find out ideally tactfully and certainly in private.

Thanks for the feedback Mumsnet. So I'll scratch the public outing of information. I do think telling the cheated privately is a possibility though. But it's something I will have to think about more.

I wouldn't. It's a bad idea and it's worrying that you can't see the many reasons not to do this.

It is a bad idea in regards to people's feelings yeah, but the amount of money I could make from it would soon easy my conscience.

You'll need a proof reader.........

Good try though, but yes I agree with everyone else - terrible idea!!! So many things could go wrong!! Have you never watched "Cheaters"?? I'm surprised that dude is still alive.
Now, a discreet message to the wronged lover in the form of a singing telegram...... There's an idea!

I don't get how you can validate the tip offs as being true/ accurate?!

Vile idea. It is an extremely personal issue and if (and when) it does come out, it is up to the couple to decide who will know and who will not know. Some couples can reconcile after a betrayal. 'Naming and shaming' completely takes this option out of the equation because of the risk of it then becoming public knowledge.

Some victims of cheating also find it humiliating as do the cheaters.

And how on earth would you verify it?
Imagine all the Jeremy kylesque vindictive ex's etc... What would you do? Monitor every person? Become a spy? Have video evidence? I can't imagine there would be too many people who would have that kind of evidence.