Jealous and resentful of DH

[MoreSpamThanGlam]

I know this sounds awful but here goes...
i have a dd 11 and a ds 7, and am 36 weeks pregnant. My dh went on for ages about having another child and i said i liked the idea of having my life back. But last year we had a bit of rough time with certain friends and financially things became tough when my dh lost his business. The thing is we really pulled together as a family and were really happy regardless of situation.

At this time I agreed to another baby. We did everything together as a family. Now my husband has a pretty well paid job and is doing lunch meetings (liquid) and when he is home is now the new Gordon Ramsey (its a hobby that takes ages and me and kids have to pretend its lovely or he sulks). He is also learning guitar and practices when he is not being Gordon. He also plays tennis and has agreed to coach my sons football team which is taken v seriously and takes up every saturday and sunday morning and like today he left at 7 to set up and will be there all day to ref a tournament. He also went to golf with his boss at 6 yesterday morning.

Dont tell me to get another hobby as i am too bloody knackered.

I am having a rotten pregnancy and have done everything for this baby myself - from buying a pram to decorating the nursery.

I cant do my hobby - play tennis as I am huge and it seems all I do is clean the house and run from one activity for the kids to another.

We dont talk at night and I am crying through gritted teeth. I am lumbered again. (That sounds awful doesnt it?) But I feel like a single parent.

Sorry for the ramble.

sorry you're feeling so down.
have you told him that you need him?
he might not realise that by himself.
lol at gordon. bless, at least he isn't lazy.

What does he say about all this MSTG?

Bloody hell. How much time does he actually spend in the house? And when he's there, how much time actually doing anything useful?

You have to have a Big Conversation with him about this. Give him a timetable of your day and show him how little he is contributing.

yes, he needs the BIG CONVERSATION. time he started taking the kids out for a day to leave you to rest.

Ahhh but you see, he has spent all day with the other Dads doing this football tournament...more of a jolly up if you ask me, the kids were not really interested. I tried talking to him today and he just said i have only been to tennis 4 times in the last few months nad golf twice and the football season has just started blah blah blah.

I said what about your guitar and playstation and cooking? He said sorry for having some interests!!!

I wouldnt mind if he was even a bit interested in the baby. Dont get me wrong - if I give him instructions he will do something, almost to get me off of his back but he wont initiate anything to do with the baby. he will come to an appt but has no opinion, its almost like he is just going through the motions.

DIY? Ha thats a joke! I do that or he gets his dad to do it.

He just said to me once you have the baby you can go back to tennis. Oh yes - I will just plop the baby at the side of the court! why didnt I think of that?

He cleaned the bathrooms last night and made me feel like he was doing me a favour.

Then he just implied that I get another hobby. Maybe give it a few months and get another hobby - maybe an affair with someone that is bloody interested in me.

how bloomin grim. wd be tempted to say 'ok my new hobby is lying in bed all day 3 times a week.'

what would feel better? it sounds like the lack of interest in the baby, which you felt like he wanted more than you, and which you are now having to go through the worst time of pregnancy for, is the centre of it. wd you say that was right?

wd paying for more help from somebody else reduce the knackeredness and help, or is that a) not feasible and b) not really what is bothering you??

Youre absolutely right.

Its the lack of interest in me or the baby. Dont get me wrong, he will put a bit of washing on or feed the dog, but its always like its a favour to me as it is my job.

The heart of it is that i used to be a vibrant social butterfly with interesting things to say, and now all I am is a fat boring blob that must just bore him shitless or he would show a bit of interest.

God i want a Margarita....