Is it me or?

[squarepeg]

I just got engaged. I've been living with my partner for a year and it hasn't always been easy. Last night he said he was going out for an hour to the pub with a mate and an hour turned into four and a half hours. He didn't call me and when they came home I looked out of my window to see that they had escorted home two women, one of them who he proceeded to kiss (he says was just a peck butit didn't look like it to me.) He was very drunk and aggressive accusing me of being a control freak and saying that I had a problem with him going out (which isn't true).My thoughts are that this shows a total lack of respect. Who agrees? Or am I being uptight? Please be honest. Lastly, I chucked my engagement ring at him and now I can't find it. I think it's gone down a gap at the side of the stairs which will be impossible to reach.

squarepeg, it aint you my love. ITS HIM.

in fact. i think he's pissing up your back and tellin you its rainin.

Squarepeg

Is this the first time he has done something like this? Is this out of character or pretty typical.

I have on occasion gone out with mates...got lagging and come home late...and I am a grown up. Mind you, never snogged anyone though.

The aggresive thing isnt right but maybe a defense mechanism for being a prat?

Give him the talk and ask him how he would feel if boot was on other foot?

By the way

Aggression as in really angry or violent? Big difference...

Kama, they arent married yet.

FWIW - neither am i

Anyhoo - show me a person that isnt either a) utterly nonsensical or b) aggressive and unreasonable when pissed?

Not suggesting that squarepeg did anything wrong, neither do I think that people should put up with aggression/abuse or unfaithfulness, but I think you lot are jumping to ALOT of conclusions based on a few sentences.

Hmm, warning bells here for me too. You know what you saw. If today, sober, he were to apologise and say it was a drunken snog, well, maybe, maybe I'd forgive it but otoh maybe I wouldn't. Pissed I can forgive, ditto lateness as long as it's not a regular occurence. But snogging someone else, god I'd be very cross.

Im with you VVV

Squarepeg...?

Yes, squarepeg - let us know, was this a one off or is this the way things have been before? I guess what bothers me is not so much his behaviour (which is bad enough) but the fact that he is defending it.

I dunno, I had a bf who was very much like this and he made me think I was going mad - and it turned out he WAS two-timing me. My instincts tell me if someone loves and respects you they don't behave like this.