How long do affair relationships last?

[ShoulddaStuckwithDogs]

Anyone left their spouse or had their spouse leave them to set up home with person they were having an affair with? How long did the relationship last after you/ they set up home together?
Thanks

Are you the one having the affair and thinking of leaving or are you the one who has been left behind?

Well my ex left to be with OW - that lasted about 1 year.
My current OH left and we have been together for over 3 years.
Does that help?

A relative left another relative for his affair partner, they were together for IIRC 18 years until he died.

DSis left and it's 24 years and counting

My uncle left his first wife for his 2nd over 50 years ago. They're still together. I know another OW/OM couple who didn't last a week.

Why do you want to know?

I cannot think of any second marriages/LTRs when I knew infidelity was a factor which have survived beyond a couple of years (indeed most didn't make it to marriage or settled cohabiting).

ExH left to be with OW and it lasted two years. He left her for OW and that lasted about two years. That cycle repeated itself five times. The latest one is five years and they got married; she is the only one without children.

left exH to be with current DH. That was 8 years ago and we are married with kids. As with everything it depends on the individual circumstances. I was with my ex from uni, he was the loveliest guy and had I met him at 23/24 we might still have been together but met him at 19. By the time we were 30 I realised that we were just friends, that I needed someone who didn't idolise me and would stand up to me occasionally. It still felt like a teenage relationship (and not in a good way). When I met DH at work it felt like a real, grown up relationship. We row occasionally, we piss each other off but we are good for each other and it has much more potential to grow and develop as we do than my previous relationship. Of course there will be some men and women who don't maintain long relationships regardless of who they are with. I don't necessarily think that's terrible (though if children are involved obviously that is a different thing) but I wish that by their 30s /40s they might work out that monogamy is not for them and just be honest with any partners that they are not the settling down kind.

I have been left for younger woman after 15 years together. We have 5 children under 7. I think they're not well matched and was wondering how long it would last

Longest I know? 34 years

Has the younger woman had to experience all five children for any length of time? Has the relationship stood the test? Sorry you've been rejected and replaced and, if there was any justice in the world, his life would be a misery from now on, but I'm afraid it doesn't work like that a lot of the time.

Try not to dwell on the outcome of his new relationship. Focus on looking after yourself.

shoulda I'm so sorry, that's awful for you. This is recent I assume? I hope things come right for you in whatever way is best.

Sorry to hear that Shouldda and yes dogs would be a much better choice!

There's no way of telling how long it will last, and what has happened to other people isn't going to be any sort of guide. Yes, I think there is inevitably a major jolt when affair bubble becomes day to day reality, and certainly many relationships never get through that (even if they do not fail straight away).

Do you have support in RL?

I agree with meditrina there's no telling how long it will last. My ex h is still with his partner and I think they've probably been together 4 years including the affair overlap. Still going strong AFAIK. It doesn't help your recovery to get hung up on these things though. Focus on getting to a place whereby it doesn't matter if they last or not

Mine and dh was an affair (he left exw for me but v quickly and he did all the running )

We've been together 6 years approx married nearly 4 and got 3 dcs

The other couple I know (my cousin and his wife) who started as an affair have been together about 22 years I think, married about 20, several dc and very happy

But then Everyone is different I'd imagine many don't last 5 minutes

Who knows OP? In some ways I hope they will be miserable with each other for the rest of their lives

The other posters are right. Try not to focus on their realtionship, but focus on you and the DC

I know that's hard. I was a compulsive FB / email checker (every 3 minutes at one point) for many many weeks and months after I kicked my ex out