How to handle relationship with in laws during separation?

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previously posted about my situation here - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2079962-Heavily-pregnant-Just-discovered-dh-affair
Been to see mil today and she was extremely off with me. Didnt really talk to me or ask how things are. didnt ask if im coping with the kids or how pregnancy is coming along. I mentioned i was a bit worried about going into labour on my own. She shrugged and said i could always call an ambulance (true).
Maybe its just me being very sensitive at the moment but we have had a really good relationship in the past. She knows everything what has gone on. Im not sure if shes embarrassed by the whole thing because its her son or she resents me for ending things. Im thinking of next time to just drop off the kids for a visit and not stay at all.
Anybody has any experience of this?

I am sorry but you need to start looking after yourself and your children.
MIL could have been told all sorts of rubbish by her son which is why she is off with you. He would have lied to her. Blood is thicker than water.

I would let them all stew and stop taking kids there. Forget about having the cheating scumbag at the birth. Bring a good friend or your mum.

See CAB ref your financial situation. They are free and easy to talk to.

It seems to me that he and his family have some sort of hold over you. If you don't break that now you will never be able to.

If he or they want to see kids let them make contact and do the driving.

Good luck

I never understand these PIL who behave like this, but it does seem to be the norm. If my son behaved like this I would be mortified and would move heaven and earth to maintain a good relationship with my ex-DIL.

Take your lead from her. If she's not bothered, then you shouldn't be either. Hope you have lovely family on your side who will support you (sorry haven't read your other thread).

I don't think you're going to be able to maintain a relationship with his side of the family. If he wants the DCs to be in contact with this parents it should be something he organises in his own time, not something you take responsibility for.

'Blood is thicker than water'.... he's their DS for life, partners (however much they appeared to like you) come and go.

You won't be able to maintain the same relationship with in-laws. As pp have said, blood is thicker than water, and the blood between in-laws and their children is thicker than that between in-laws and their grandchildren.

I left exH because he was abusive, ex-MIL has not only stopped contact with me, but also with her only grandchildren (exH is only child) - has not seen them in nearly 2 years now despite living in same city. The one time I spoke to her since, she told me that it is all my fault because I was not a good wife to him. Ex-FIL still sees me and his grandchildren as exH only allowed supervised contact with DCs, and so ex-FIL provides the supervision. I still don't think ex-ILs actually believe that exH was abusive but that somehow I invented all of it (despite court documents, medical evidence, police evidence, etc.). Ex-FIL even told me recently that the situation is harder for exH than it is for me.

Your in-laws will really not care about you, their DS will be their top priority, and they will believe whatever he tells them.

Agree with others that let them do the driving if they want to see their grandchildren (grandparents don't automatically have any rights in case of divorce/separation, it's up to the kindness of your heart and wanting to do what is best for your DCs). Take care of yourself, you're the one who is pregnant and has kids to look after.

Thank you for all your replies.
I suppose they do have a hold over me because of having a great relationship in the past. I need to toughen up and try not to care what they think. I am in a 3 bed and my girls share and the spare room is for my step son ( he stayed once a fortnight) who obviously will no longer be staying here. I'm dying to make it into the lovely nursery for my new dd but for some reason scared of any back lash from them even though I know step sons mum would support my choice.

It's your home, your family, your children and you can organise any of those however you see fit. No-one has any right to challenge you whether they are related or not.

Of course you had a great relationship in the past. We all make an effort with the ILs when we're thrown together. Once you're outside of their family, there's no obligation either way

I agree with other posters, it is his responsibility now not yours. I feel awful I don't see my in laws as they are lovely people and still send cards to my relatives! But it feels too strange. I send the occasional text to my father in law. I let my ex do all the visiting with them on his contact.