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Original poster

Was I wrong?? Advice please!

17 replies

Lilimum2be · 28/05/2014 19:22

Hey ppl!
Ok so last night as I unplugged my mans phone to put my phone on charge I noticed a message on Tinder from Emily on his phone!
I unlocked his phone and went in search for this message on an app I categorically said I wasn't comfortable for him to download.
I saw 3 girls conversations, the girl Emily had been speaking to him all day yesterday....the conversation in my opinion was flirty...she told him she liked his pictures and he said she was cute.
He also told her where he works and things. She asked if he had any children and he said no.
I checked the profile and there were 5 single pictures of himself all of which I had taken and his bio was a brief about himself. He also said "no pervy women please"
Being 30 weeks pregnant I became extremely emotional and hit the roof, I woke him up at 0030ish (he has work at 6)
He says he downloaded it to find friends as he is lonely... He said that he clicked men and women in the interested in option...I didn't see that.
I asked him to just delete it all after I, in temper, deleted all of his pictures and replaced them with a picture of the 2 of us and changed his bio to "soon to be married, expecting first son"
An argument broke and he ran to his mothers room for advice, shout about me and things I have done years ago and generally bitch. (He is 25)
I joined and explained why I had an issue, she understood both sides. He then went on to say that I am controlling a psycho and all the rest and was quite aggressive. I was very upset and couldn't understand why he didn't/doesn't see my point of view...
He has been to work today, come back and hasn't spoken to me. Refuses to talk and is just ignoring me.
He has his notice appt for marriage tomoro and has already said he doesn't care about it...
I already admitted my wrong doing in waking him up so late when he has work in the morning as he didn't sleep much. I got up with him in the am and made him some breakfast and made his lunch as I always do... He still won't speak to me! I am so hurt but he doesn't seem to take any responsibility Hmm
We have been together 10 years and are expecting our first child in August.
Help!!! Sorry about the long MSG!!!!

OP posts:
Innocentbystander01 · 28/05/2014 19:24

Run for the hills. Good luck.

Bluelining · 28/05/2014 19:26

OK, you've been with him for 10 years and you are expecting. Any other reason why you still want to be with him? He's not bothered. LTB

CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/05/2014 19:27

If you're going to call someone out on bad behaviour.... and you caught him bang to rights.... what you don't do is wimp out later, apologise and start cooking the cheating little bugger breakfast!

If he's not talking to you, enjoy the peace and quiet and then do some serious thinking about whether you want to spend your life with a whining, overgrown boy who calls you appalling names & whines to his Mummy because you've caught him with his pants down.

He 'sees your point of view' don't worry about that. Do NOT let him bully you into backing down.

LIZS · 28/05/2014 19:28

sorry not sure I follow. You are pg and planning to marry your dp . Meanwhile he is till window shopping for other women and won't discuss your concerns about it ? Where does his mum come into all this ?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/05/2014 19:29

BTW... he did not log into that app in order to find 'friends'. If you believe that, you'll believe anything.

oikopolis · 28/05/2014 19:31

So he's a manchild who runs to his MUM to slag you off...

when you catch him talking to other women...

on an app that is expressly designed for hookups...

while you are expecting his baby...

and is now being a little bitch to you because you DARED to be upset about this...

and now "doesn't care" about the appt for the wedding...?

Sorry love there is no hope here.

LittleRedDinosaur · 28/05/2014 19:33

Why are you apologising to him? He fucked up and now he's deliberately being angry with you so that you end up apologising and them can't confront him about what he did. He is being manipulative and abusive. He is ignoring you and saying he doesn't care to scare you into thinking you'll lose him.
It's shit, I've been there. Run away from the arse hole

CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/05/2014 19:44

" she understood both sides"

Can I tell you that when I read that bit I laughed loud and hollow..... ? Of course his MOTHER understands both sides you great twerp. If he was standing over your lifeless body with a knife dripping blood in his hands she'd understand both sides!!! I don't know why you're both living with this mother that he runs to all the time but, if you insist on carrying on in this insane relationship, know this... his mother will never take your side.

Vivacia · 28/05/2014 19:50

Being 30 weeks pregnant I became extremely emotional and hit the roof,

Really? Because I would become emotional and I would hit the roof and I am not 30 weeks pregnant.

Then I'd go in to steely, ice-woman determined mode.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 28/05/2014 19:52

What cog says. With big fucking bells on.
He was planning to cheat on you. Maybe he has already. You found out and then somehow you end up apologising? LTB. Now. And work on your self esteem. You are worth more.

Back2Two · 28/05/2014 19:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Fairylea · 28/05/2014 19:57

Why are you feeling sorry for him??

He's behaved like an absolute arsehole. There are no excuses for this. None.

Cabrinha · 28/05/2014 20:02

Yeah, definitely hormonal from the pregnancy.

Can't see why else you'd get upset and and angry and need answers from him for cheating on you.

FFS, I know it's a shock - but WHY the hell are you making him breakfast?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get some self respect, and bin him.

Nasty little shit that he is - nice touch telling you he doesn't care about the wedding now. Well, just as well - because presumably you don't care about being married to a lying cheating shit?

Sounds like a tough situation - you're living with his mother?
But you CAN leave.

Honestly - making his lunch? What will you do when you find the evidence he's had sex with someone? 3 course dinner with wine?

You poor thing. Have you got friends to talk to?

Cabrinha · 28/05/2014 20:03

And I may get an avalanche of childhood sweethearts arguing with me... But I'd say if he's 25 and you've been together 10 years, the odds are actually stacked against you. That's very young.

Viviennemary · 28/05/2014 20:09

Sadly it does sound as if he is looking for female friendships. He sounds awful. Not sure it would be a good idea to continue to expect a happy relationship with this man. He should be on his knees begging forgiveness. And even if he was you should think carefully about accepting any sort of apology.

AnyFucker · 28/05/2014 20:11

You would be wrong to stay with this man. That is all.

getthefeckouttahere · 28/05/2014 21:39

why oh why didn't you wake him up with a hefty kick in the bollocks?

Awful for you that this should happen when yr 30 weeks pregnant but far more awful not to know and marry this dickhead. I almost never ever say this but leave him, NOW!

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