How do other single mum's meet new partners?

[tinkerbell1416]

Hi all, sorry if I am duplicate posting here I am new to this site and not figured it out too well yet! As the title suggests I am wondering how single mums meet new partners? I'm 28 and I have a 6 year old, his Dad and I seperated while I was pregnant, after throwing myself into an access to higher education course and undertaking a degree at university which I am due to complete very soon I tried online dating however, without going into it that did not have a positive ending! Some of my friends suggest the paid sites (I tried a free one) but obviously they are quite costly - are they worth it? Other friends say just leave it to fate - but I never go anywhere to meet anyone!

Starting to feel ready to settle down again now but just not sure how I will!! Any suggestions are greatly accepted! x

No the paid online sites are no different really. You may have better luck as you're younger.

I've been single for 6 months now (after a 6 year relationship) and I've dated a few guys via online dating but it's just rubbish. I'm 45, still trim and attractive, I have 2 teenage boys, good job, own house, car and a busy social life! But I'd rather be single!

Go over to the dating thread, they are lovely over there!

I've been a single mum for 12 years, but I've dated on and off and currently seeing someone. I met my current boyf doing an evening sports hobby. I've used online dating websites - usually paid ones. It was just for a bit of fun rather than looking for anything serious, though I think I met some guys who were looking for committed relationships, but I wasn't too keen on them.

It's a shame that you never get out, can you sort out a babysitter once a week? Does your ds's dad have him overnight? Surely you'd need to get used to using a babysitter if you started seeing someone, it won't be fun for them to have to just sit at yours all night.

No he doesn't see his dad, my parents are really good and they do have him for me overnight but all my friends are married so don't really go out anymore, and when we do it's generally just for a meal and then they want to go home to their husbands - which I understand!

I've joined the gym to pick up a hobby now I'm nearly finished at uni so who knows my luck may change there - if I ever brave going when it's not virtually empty lol!!

I was in your shoes I met my other half on POF a free online dating site. I refused to pay when you can get as much on the free version. He and I have been together for over four years now, I didn't like the idea of meeting someone whilst 'out' as I'd find it kind of weird and not really know what their motives were plus finding a babysitter just for the sake of hoping to meet someone didn't seem right to me.

I personally rate my online dating experience. It doesn't happen straight away and you do have to sift through the frogs but there is someone out there for everyone!

If we had the answer to your question we'd all be rich! It's luck, I'm afraid, and anyone who says otherwise is foolish. I know people who have been single for years who aren't mums that are attractive and intelligent with varied hobbies. They never meet anyone in real life and have never clicked with anyone they've met through online dating. I've known attractive and intelligent people barely get a couple of dates through online dating. I know someone who married the first person they met on online dating! But from my own experience, I hated online dating and I would never do it again.

I met boyfriends at work (worked part time at hotel / bars when dd was little) as well as working part time during the day (bar work mainly to meet new people and as was evenings she was sleeping anyway!)

I did give online dating a go... you have to be persistent and ruthless. Block and delete loads without a second thought. Meet for coffee during the day initially not a date. Can leave after an hour and just gives you a chance to see what they're like.

I met my dh online on plenty of fish. We met for an hour for coffee and ended up chatting for 5 hours. We now have a toddler ds and I have dd 11.

(Sorry that wasn't clear - I meant that I worked in a regular job - marketing during the day- and then worked in a bar job in the evenings. Babysitters just about took all of my wage but it gave me a social life! )

Do you have a babysitter.

My DS was with my mum when I was on a night out with friends and met DP.

Thanks for all the advice, looks like it's trial and error and see what happens!

Yeah my parents will have him for me, but because of the shifts I work when I'm on placement they have him a lot anyway and this also restricts me getting out (I work nights, weekends, 13 hour days with no set pattern). I have to be realistic and remember the important things in life and having a companion isn't everything, I have a gorgeous lovable child, a massively supportive family and a good career ahead of me so I really can't complain that 1 element of my life isn't how I'd imagined it would be!

You have to try pof met a lovely bloke from that - there is life after children

You have to develop a bit of a thick skin with online dating. .. to make you giggle before I met my dh I had one guy message me to say I'd be great for his dad (who was 80) and several others offering to send me photos of their privates. I had one who was the head of the vegemite society (didn't know they even had one) and that was all he talked about. And one did nothing but ask about my dd (who I only mentioned in passing in my profile) so that was bloody creepy. So I blocked and deleted about 100 I think. All weirdos.

But eventually I did meet dh so it was worth it.

See I did try pof last year and met who's guy who (I thought) was lovely, 2 weeks into seeing him he alleged his mum had died and he had to get her body flown back from India and so on, thinking it was a bit odd but then you can't choose timings of someone dying gave him the benefit of the doubt as we'd been messaging for a while before we actually met, anyway on the 'day of the funeral' I got a call from derby police and it was him asking to use my address for bail - no chance sundance do I look stupid!?? Turns out he was a serial conman who had conned women out of thousands, was actually married and had a daughter with a woman who he also duped - now as much as I didn't get conned or duped or whatever it has made me a little cautious, I never lend people money so it's highly unlikely I'd be getting conned out of money haha! I'm a bit mean like that I work hard for my money and it's mine to spend on my boy not lend to other people I hardly know. I may well be being over cautious as I've heard so many positive stories off there I just don't want him to find me on there and message me!