I feel upset about this - questioning a friendship.

[Wishyouwould]

I left my VA and EA H 18 months ago. I have a few very close friends who have been very supportive and along with ADs and counsellor I am start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. These friends know about the abuse I was subjected to and couple of them (plus one of their DHs) have seen my EX-Hs treatment of me first hand.

My Ex-H started seeing someone I know a few months ago, let's call her C. One of my supportive friends is very good friends with a close friend of C's so they are all friends on Facebook. It's all been a bit awkward, obviously I have no hard feeling towards C but seeing my Ex-H moving on has been really painful for me to deal with ie. questioning myself, was I too sensitive? the guilt of splitting the family up, etc. My friend knows it was eating away at me and I have spoken to her about my counselling sessions. She also knows he has continued to be nasty to me up until recently.

A photo of C appeared on my Home page a few days ago as my close friend had commented on it - basically saying what a lovely photo and how gorgeous she is. My friend barely knows C, she knows how much this relationship has affected me and must also know I would see this comment. I feel really let down, I would had never done this in her shoes. Of course my friend is free to do as she pleases but the comment was so gushing it felt like a kick in the teeth tbh.

I had something similar happen to me, (someone I thought was a good friend posting chatty messages on ex's page, after a traumatic split). Like you I accepted she was free to do as she pleased. I was really hurt. It did make me reevaluate the friendship. She lives quite far from me, so we barely see each other anyway, but I no longer make much of an effort. I've never mentioned it, or been rude or unfriendly to her. But it did change how I felt about her really in as much as I no longer saw her as a very close friend. I could understand more in my case and yours if there was already a friendship there but if there's no real need to get in touch it is hurtful.

nope, they've done nothing wrong imo. Yr getting bent out of shape about this because yr feeling fragile and thats understandable, but really its nothing, she sounds like a fab friend, cherish her.

I used to ask myself whether these are true friends. And if they have my back for me. If not, then I drop them. Why would a friend hurt you deliberately any way ? I know it sounds very petty but it does save on the heartaches. Some good friends would do the right thing and separate private conversations separately from main group chats, which helps.