should I tell my friend the awkward truth - or not?

[Chachah]

I have a close-ish friend who's a lovely person, very intelligent, interesting and just all-around nice.

One problem - she does not know how to have a conversation. Whenever I ask her questions about herself, her day or anything really, she goes off on really long monologues that end up being only very vaguely related to the original topic. It's near impossible to rebound and pick up the conversation mid-stream, because it's usually long convoluted stories that it would seem really rude to interrupt before she finishes. She does this a LOT, and on occasions I feel like checking my watch to see how long it's been since I've managed to put in a single word. I honestly don't know how she doesn't notice.

I put up with it because I otherwise really do like her, but wonder if I should tell her something. She could be such a great friend if she was just a little bit more aware of what she does and tried to reign it in. I know for a fact she'd be mortified to know she makes people (not just me) feel that way. I also know that she's been bullied at school and struggling socially in the past, and I think it could help her make friends more easily (which is something I know she really wants). But I also don't want to hurt her feelings, and I don't see a way to bring it up without making it sound like a harsh criticism.

WWYD?

You both sound lovely.

I agree that you shouldn't risk denting her fragile self-esteem horribly by talking about it outright.

The only possible solutions occurring to me are the following:

• Hurl yourself into the conversation - a big long mad story. Don't allow yourself to be distracted or stopped. Then five minutes later, hurl yourself into another. After two minutes of that, stop yourself and say, 'No, I'm not letting you get a chance to speak. You'll be thinking I'm not interested in hearing what you have to say. Do you ever find yourself running on and you know you talked too much and you can't seem to stop. Horrible for both of us. No it's definitely your turn now, we're both meant to be contributing an equal amount. I'm going to zip it!'

I do this. I've often thought im on the spectrum.

What LADYOF said,

i have a friend who whenever either of us go off on one we shout 'beginning , middle, end!' at one another. (As in each tale should have them!). We laugh about it.

getthefeck I love that tactic I'm going to try to do that in my own head.

a great idea, getthe!

My sister is like this - I only see here very few years.

Last time I saw her after several years, with my new and first child, she said HI and then sat down and talked for hours, at length about her (very boring) job.

see HER EVERY few years ...

I have a very good friend like this, I just tell her to get to the bloody point, because her stories getting boring. but we have that kind of relationship where she won't get offended. She's lovely really but my god can she go on..