Reporting past DV

[BurningAsh]

I finally left abusive XP a few months ago. Took a lot of attempts and 2 years of reading threads on this board to help me do so. I will forever be grateful to the posters on this board because whilst helping others you helped a lurker like me as well.

XP was physically violent for the first 2.5 years of our relationship, but for the second half of it he was predominantly EA and a cocklodger really. I called the police on 1 occasion of violence early on but retracted my complaint when they arrived. He was taken away for breach of peace (I think it was), but he was back a few hours later.

I've lived in fear for years, and I do worry that he will press to have contact with our DS on a more regular basis. I don't even think I'm sure what my motivation to report him is, my heads still a bit of a mess about it. I don't want to be seen as reporting him just to stop him seeing DS, however I do want to keep DS safe.

My question now really is can I report the DV to the police almost 3 years since the last occasion? Is there actually any point? This late down the line will it just look like I'm being vindictive or making things up?

You absolutely can do it and, in my opinion, should do it. Just ring the 101 number and explain your situation and, depending on the protocol in your area, you will either be given an appointment to attend at a police station to provide a statement or they will arrange for an officer to come to you.

In giving a statement you are indicating that you are willing to go to court to see this man prosecuted. If you just want these incidents 'logged' then explain this when touring, but be prepared for lots of follow-up from well-meaning professionals who will try (in the nicest possible way) to persuade you to pursue this at court.

Your instincts are to protect your son, quite rightly and going to court would be the best way to archive this. Perhaps though, you also deserve justice for what he has done. For these reasons I would urge you to be strong and report on 101.

Good luck.

Thank you Ziggy

I had thought of giving 101 a call, was just unsure if they would actually do anything or if it was too late hence this post. I'm glad you've said they will take it seriously

Did you ring Burning?

I called 101, and they took a few details over the phone.

I also have an appointment to discuss further. I've scheduled that for next week when DS is at nursery so I can get on with it with no interruptions.

Thank you for your advice Ziggy

Went in today to make my statement.

The officer was really understanding when I said I wasn't looking to press charges at the moment, and went through a list of questions to ask me to carry out a risk assessment. I've been told it will be recorded as historical assault or domestic violence non recordable I think he said. Been told I may be contacted by someone from vulnerable persons? if they feel I am still at risk but otherwise its just been noted and there's nothing more to it as I don't have any evidence of the abuse.

Well done Burning -I'm glad you had the courage to report this. You now have it documented and recorded. If you don't want to pursue a prosecution then with no additional supporting evidence and with the time elapsed, it is reasonable that they will not take things further.

From your point of view - you have the specifics recorded by the police which may be useful in the future. Have they given you a log number or a crime reference number? If not, call back and ask for one. Should your ex push for contact with your DS and you are concerned about this, then you will be able to demonstrate that you have reported his behaviour in the past.

If you do get a follow-up call from Vulnerable Persons, then discuss with them your options with regards to safeguarding your DS - options vary in different areas and you are clearly not in my are from the terms of reference you have used.

I hope your ex leaves you alone and you can put all of this behind you, but at least you are prepared if he does not.