Decent men?? Really

[Ships99]

I've recently separated from my stbxh in January. I've met a man last month that I've been chatting to for 7 weeks... Texting and then chatting on the phone (online dating profile was decent man who doesn't play mind games)...
He was 7 years younger than me and has no kids (I'm 38 with two kids). I'm in no rush to get into a relationship and I explained that. We met three times. He was quite full on. Ringing me usually every day. He arranged to meet again on Saturday. I didn't think there was a long term future in things.... (He said he wanted kids in the future whereas I don't)... He told me he felt like he was falling in love with me (bit of a red flag I suppose).. I never said anything in return and said it was far too soon to be talking like that...
He messaged on Saturday morning very flirty and sent some sexy pics... Saying he was looking forward to meeting up at 6pm... Then I get a text.... "You're gonna hate me.. But I can't meet up tonight..." At 2pm.
I asked what was up and I said "forget it" as I didn't want to be messed about. He said "it's not you, it's me..." And that it "was none of my business"...
I was truly baffled by his sudden nasty attitude and then he said it was because he mistook feeling wanted for falling in love with me....
It's the first rejection since the end of my marriage and although I was attracted to him sexually but not that into him intellectually... But I was shocked at the so sudden change of heart! I guess it's just my first taste of the dating world! Funny eh???
I'm starting to think I just choose the wrong ones... And although I was guarded and didn't trust him, I didn't see it coming, at all!!

Reading between the lines he was only in it for a shag anyway. You've done yourself a favour.

At least your twat radar is working as it was sending you signals saying not to trust him.

You should be proud of yourself really.

Unless I have misunderstood your message you weren't that keen anyway so why the annoyance at being 'messed around'? Aside from that, OD needs a bit of a thick skin. I don't think you should assume you are attracting idiots based on this one man or your failed marriage. There are plenty of knobs out there but also plenty of perfectly nice fellas to. Chalk it up to experience and don't dwell on it.

Sounds like he got nasty because you didn't react to his letting you down as you were "supposed" to. You were "supposed" to weep and wail and beg, but your "forget about it" comment pissed him off.
He sounds like a tedious game player. Not too bright and highly predictable. You didn't rate him that much by the sounds of things anyway.
Onwards and upwards.

I wonder if a man who feels the need to bill themselves as 'decent' is a bit like processed food claiming it's 'healthy' on the packet.... instantly suspect? :)

Basically if he said that he doesn't play mindgames, it means that this is the end of the road because what he asked for, you were not ready to give, and to be fair, this is too early. Maybe the fact that he is 31 and possibly want to settle down may drive him to be that bit anxious as well. It happens both ways, but I would stay with your own gut instinct and radar and stick with it.

At least he was not like my ex. He had a checklist (!) I did not fit the item on the list and out I go... but I was his rebound. Silly me.

Decent men have to also be protected too from falling down from grace... this is something I like to believe in actually. But it does indeed take two. Just move on I guess. It did not sound like what either of you wanted were in sync as well. Cos you couldn't see long term, and he wanted long term, that could explain his hot and cold behaviour.

He wrongly assumed he was saying/doing all the right things and telling you he was in love with you would make you all weak at the knees. You were much more self assured than he expected and this confused him. He realised he didn't have the upper hand nor would he, ever, so his ego got hurt and now he's being nasty.
Be true to yourself and others and you will be fine.

You want different things. He cancelled a date and your response was "forget it". It's just over. Nothing else.

We mentioned kids before and I said I thought if he wanted kids, it wasn't fair on him to continue dating me. He said that if it's no kids, then it's no kids and he wanted to see how we go. I think my pride is bruised a little but also I didn't see it coming, despite my reservations! I think I'm clearly overthinking it! Lol
Next!!!!! :)