Family 'Mare-a longish one! SORRY!

[pixiepins]

need outside opinions!
ok here goes...
my hubby and i have been married for 3 years and we didn't see much of his mum right from the beginning. his parents are divorced (when he was small). His dad on the other hand is always round! My parents were together until just after i met my bloke they then split and got divorced 2 years ago! i get on real well with my mum (we now live back to back with her!) but my realtionship with my dad has always been strained!
then Leon came along 19 months ago and things just went crazy!
Hubbys dad (FIL) comes round all the time and won't leave us alone..he gets too involved with our son and thinks he can be involved with big desisions etc!
My mum is cool but she still hasn't got over my dad and gets very melancholy and goes ona bout it all the time!
my dad is a pain at times and just thinks he can dictate to us and hubbys mum hasn't been to see my son in 9 months.
what annoys me most is the fact that hubby's mum does'nt see us.
we've talked to her about it and she always says she'll come but its really bad! my son has no idea who she is and she only turns up for xmas and birthdays!
what hurts the most is that it's the same two people helping us out all the time my mum and hubbys dad! last year when my son had his op they didn't even come to see us in hospital...they didn't call and it's alomost like they are a bit ashamed cause he was born with problems. now it's sorted it's like we don't talk about it cause its a bad thing!
to be honest i think i just wanted a rant! cause i get sick and tired of running round after them! why should i?
sorry guys...just wanted to get it off my chest!

oh you poor thihng. You have obviously had a hard time with all this.

The only thing I would say is that you really have to let 'hubbys mum' make her own decisions. You have tried and it is now up to her. Don't beat yourself up about it.

The other stuff with his dad - is it getting to you? and yor mum? that will ytake time I guess..

Hi Pixiepins. Believe me it won't be anything to do with any problems your ds has, as my family are just as strange. My dd was in the hospital shortly after she was born, as she was very ill and was in for a week. Nobody other than my dad came to visit.

I think all families turn really odd when a new baby is introduced into the picture. I remember my MIL telling me before I gave birth to my first child that although I was going through the birth of my dd, I should consider how hard it was for my mil to accept a new baby into the family...and I should think of her and her feelings during the birth!! WTF!!

Sorry I went off into my own rant there

hi!
waves
his dad is ok...i actually really get on with him! it's just he is a) way too soft with our son so mummy always ends up looking like the 'baddie' cause it's me who has to be the firm one...(FIL looks after my son for us when hubby and i are at work) and he gets all stroppy if he doesn't like our desisions1 for example...last night i came home from going shopping straight from work, i'd been out since 8.00am and i walked in and my house looked like a war zone! he just leaves it for me to tidy...dirty dishes (surely he could wash leons thomes tank bowl?) and dirty nappies etc!
B) FIL comes round evry day..helps my hubby but if i'm off and on my own ...not a sniff of a chance he'll come round.
c) he sticks up for his sone (my hubby) all the time...which i accept to a point but to the detriment of me! I.e. 'oh well (hubby) works way longer hours so you should do it all' type of comments!
as far as mil goes...i agree she she has to make her own desisions but, she also makes my hubby feel guilty for not going round enough etc...theni get mad cause i don't see why we should do all the running around...you know when leon was first born (in december) they wanted us to go up to thier house on xmas day and didn't offer to come get us..depsite the facxt that it was really cold and slippy and i had just had a c-section! then she turned on the tears cause we said we couldn't go..thus making hubby feel like shit!

I know my dad would not leave my house tidy if he looked after my kids..no way hozay would he even know how to feed them tbh.

If yo are paying you fil to look after your child then you need to decide if this is the right childcare option for you..or do you need a cleaner as well for example.

I guess he will come over to see his son as they will do boys stuff together, that is normal too...