online dating -phone call?!

[Sassy777]

Been messaging a guy for the last few days and today he have me his number and chatted on WhatsApp. He's just asked if I want to chat on the phone later! What do I say? I'm bricking it! Anyone else been in this situation?

I've done it!
It's really nerve racking but as soon as you start chatting it's fine!

Is there a topic you have been talking about that you could carry on with?
You know something like "so, tell me more about your Peru trek!"

Yeah I guess there are a few things we could chat about but I'm so nervous and feel like a teenager again (I'm 39 pmsl). How long did you chat on the phone for?

I prefer to talk on the phone after a few days messaging. Treat it like chatting to a friend, he'll have things he'll want to say too and it will flow really well. It's so exciting knowing what their voice sounds like.

What time is he phoning?

I don't know! Might have put him off... said I haven't done that before!

I'm sure you haven't put him off, he might be watching the football first?

View it just as a chat, smile when you're on the phone, it does help with how you come across. Once you've chatted to him once then it will be easier next time whether it's to him or another potential match.

Keep it light hearted, don't give too much away in the initial call. Maybe ask him how his experience has been with OD and don't talk about any of your experiences in a negative way. I had that with one man and it really put me off him.

Oh and it's a good feeling to feel like you're a teenager again!

I don't like chatting on the phone at all, to a person I've never met. If you like someone online from their photos, there's also nervousness - so why spoil it all by having an awkward chat? I find it very pressurising, and for me it's hugely easier to just meet for a coffee - you see their face and their expressions, and not just talking to an imaginary person, you can read responses, and actually know whether you are attracted - why build something up if you are definitely not? Photos can be very misleading, and so is chat if someone is very good on the phone.
You are either a 'phone person' or not, OP. I'm only fine on the phone with people I know well and even then, not for too long.

It's great fun chatting on the phone to somebody you've never met and have only exchanged messages with - one of life's great pleasures - you are both in the same boat, probably a little shy and maybe awkward, but stick with it , be confident and let the conversation take its course. I have never had a bad experience so far after about ten conversations with 'random' strangers. You never know what might happen next...

I did OD several years ago when about your age. I made it a rule to speak on the phone before meeting (after messaging). I think you can tell a lot more about a person when speaking and there were a few men who had sounded ok in messages but who I didn't go on to meet after a phone call. I think you can tell more about a person's opinions, sense of humour and general social skills when speaking. Of course meeting in person is better still but you can waste time. The only time I broke my rule the guy I met was really socially awkward (more than normal nerves) and I'm sure I would have picked up on that on the phone.
Btw I went on to meet a lovely guy and we are now married! Good luck - nothing ventured, etc

i always make sure i have their profile up so that if theres any awkward gaps i can give it a little kick start with things they have mentioned on there it works for me.
and i always end it while we still have plenty to say, i just say something like, 'oh well i'd better get on i have a few things to sort out'
i'm a confident chap but did find this a little daunting at first. But its always been fine. good luck.

Did he phone??

Yes he did and we chatted for a good half hour... glad I did as I'm not sure about him now! Maybe I should make it a rule too. Seems logical - don't waste time arranging a date only for it to be awkward!

Sassy - I'm so pleased! I agree, it does give you a sense of whether you should progress. I understand some aren't good on the phone and might be better in person but I think you should trust your instincts.

Good luck with your search!

Thanks! Just after I posted that, he sent me a photo of himself laying in bed half naked. I ran away lol!

Oh no!! What's wrong with some men??

I bet you did this.....

Yep! Such a shame as he's quite good looking! Got chatting to a bloke last night who's arranged a date already but won't stop with the texts... that's putting me off... even chased me up when I didn't reply earlier... hmm

Maybe he just doesn't know the rules of OD or maybe he wants to snap you up before anyone else does. Either way, I hope he doesn't end up another

What do you tell blokes when you decide you're just not interested? This one says black men are the best lovers... hmm!

I am that old that I had a pen friend and we then decided to speak on the phone. 5 hours that first time. Met him the next day. Married him .

If I do reply, I just put, good luck with your search.

You don't have to reply to every message though, I don't.

Itsfab - love your story!

Ah that's a lovely story Itsfab!

I mean to blokes you've swapped phone numbers with... thinking of cancelling the date tbh...

I'd cancel after that comment.

Just say you've met someone, then block him - idiot!

Will do, thanks for your advice! Xx