Please help me figure out this guy!

[Jaffacakesaremyfave]

Met someone last year on POF after being single for several years. We only went on a few dates over a couple of weeks but I was so attracted to him that we ended up having sex during this time (it was hands down the best I've ever had ).

Anyway, I could feel at the time his interest in me was starting to wane and he was pulling away so I ended the relationship in it's early days. Because of this, I've never really managed to stop thinking about the amazing sex get him 'out of my system', I have alot of 'what if's' running through my mind but I did what felt right at the time.

We have on and off been contacting each other for the last year but most of this is small talk and trying to arrange to meet but he always finds excuses to back out. Messages will be for a few days and then nothing for months. He contacted me recently after not hearing from him since November and it was quite obvious he just wants sex. I really want to sleep with him again too but once again as they time has got closer to meeting, he is now saying he can't make the original meeting day and can only do a day I can't do. I haven't heard from him now for several days.

I'm really confused what he wants as he makes it obvious he wants sex and contacts me but backs out at the last minute. Do you think he just wants to know he could have me if he wanted to? Why after a year is he still bothering to contact me if he has no emotional investment? Surely if it was just sex he would actually turn up or sleep with someone else? I don't understand this guy's motives at all and it's driving me insane trying to figure it all out. Please help!

It's an ego thing. He's stringing you along for his own little ego boost. Get rid of him, block his number and get on with your life.

I wouldn't waste your time trying to figure him out, he obviously doesn't know what he wants himself. Mark it as an enjoyable bit of sex and forget him. While you are spending time trying to fathom him out you are missing out on meeting someone who does want to see you.

Yeah, sounds like he's keeping you on tenterhooks to check he still can

He knows you thought the sex was amazing and he would like to do it again, however you also want more ie a relationship and he doesn't. He backs out as he's either with someone or he is a nice chap and knows its just a shag for him and not really for you. And again, hes most likely with someone.

This whole scenario will happen again if you sleep with him, so be very brave and nice to yourself and block him.

I've got one of these. I assume whenever something has gone tits up in his love life he gets in touch for the 'I could have you if I wanted to' routine and that makes him feel better. Sorry op sounds like he is wasting your time.

Well, either he doesn't actually want to have sex with you again but likes the idea that you would be up for it if he could be bothered, or he is a very busy man. He may well be busy with other women but, as you are not in a relationship with him that doesn't make him a bastard.

Either way, though, he's not available for a committed relationship with you, so if you want one of those, move on.

Stop entertaining his ego right now. Block and delete. The man is doing it because he can and because you let him!

I wonder if it's the same guy I know who's similar? Lol

I came out of a LTR last year and met a guy. And wow the sex was hands down the best ever. Thinking about it makes me smirk and what 'him' again.

Like your man he lost interest and contact became few and far between so I went no contact. He still contacts me now and then and I think it's defo an ego boost.

He admitted to being a commitment phobe tho and that's a whole different post!

Thanks everyone, I know you're all right. He's an absolute arse and I'm annoyed with myself for going round in circles with this guy.

Waffles, does his name begin with O? I have a feeling this guy has a few like me on the go to boost his pathetic little ego.

I actually give up on ever meeting anyone nice

A friend of mine explained this to me. Its like a web, they hook you, then they keep you on their terms at arms length along with the several others they have hooked. For your own sanity, cut the string and run.

He's got half a dozen or more like you on the go - no question. He might even actually turn up one of these days, if he doesn't have a better offer that is. He's fucking about all over the place, you can be certain. He's probably great in the sack because he's had so much practise!

He's just making sure you are still an option that is open to him, by checking in every now and then.

Just tell him to fuck off.

Don't even waste a minute more trying to figure this person out. He's treated you badly so why do you go back for more? Cut him off, and move on.

No Jaffa it doesn't start with that, but I bet twats like that are everywhere.

At first this guy made me feel amazing. Then he loses interest and makes my head get messed up.

I have regular therapy and my therapist said that guys that follow a routine and if he got in contact again. Think for 24 hours before responding - give him the lack of respect he gave me.

Baggage reclaim blogsite has been my bible too.

He's very easy to figure out. He is a fuckwit. Move on.