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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When separating has anyone else encountered this?

13 replies

onionlove · 22/05/2014 14:53

Sorry me again!
Its not a sudden decision, we are separating, its been decided, we are trying to sort things out ourselves, he wants to rent somewhere suitable to live where DCs to visit as living in the same house is just not working and not any good for the children, I am investigating tax credits etc.
Today he phoned and I asked him if he could give me an approximate figure that he was prepared to give me and it needs to be one that can't change (not for things beyond his control of course), I was accused of being threatening, aggressive, difficult etc. etc. - by the way we are separating because of something he has done so why is he trying to make himself to be a victim in this?
I then stupidly asked if he had thought about when he would like to see the children and he said, I haven't just stop hassling me I'm trying to work.
I think its going to be a long and winding road ahead...
The good news is the CAB and the HMRC have been fantastically helpful, if anyone is wondering who can help them in a similar situation, just give them a call!

OP posts:
AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 22/05/2014 15:31

You may as well start documenting things now, just to protect yourself. Perhaps put the requests in writing such as an email and ask him to get back with you by a certain date so you can begin sorting things out?

Jan45 · 22/05/2014 15:49

Well done Onion! He's angry because this is something he can't control, keep your dignity, you're doing great.

onionlove · 22/05/2014 16:44

He said he wanted to get a flat but wants to drag his heels. He is acting very strangely weird when you find you don't know someone after all

OP posts:
Sassy777 · 22/05/2014 17:25

he's probably shitting himself as he's realised it's just not that simple to leave someone and he has a lot of things to organise for himself now.

were you asking for a child maintenance figure? you can put his earnings into a calculator on the cm website and it'll tell you how much he should pay a month. 15% for 1 child, 20% for 2, and 25% for 3 or more.

onionlove · 22/05/2014 17:47

Hi sassy is it possible to calculate if he has another one from previous relationship to support?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 22/05/2014 18:22

Is the separation with a view to a divorce or are you unmarried?

mammadiggingdeep · 22/05/2014 18:35

Op..are u saying you don't know if he has other children?

onionlove · 22/05/2014 18:53

No of course i know that he does have another one, the 'if' relates to how it affects figures quoted, we are married and will be divorcing, no going back

OP posts:
MaggieJoyBlunt · 22/05/2014 18:57

How many children in total?

onionlove · 22/05/2014 19:28

3

OP posts:
MaggieJoyBlunt · 22/05/2014 19:42

Ok. So total child support will be 25% of his wage and then you will get two thirds of that child support and the mother of his eldest will get one third.

MaggieJoyBlunt · 22/05/2014 19:43

(If he plays ball or you could use CSA but there are now charges for that)

FolkGirl · 23/05/2014 00:06

Is he finding out that the grass isn't greener after all.

Shame when that happens, isn't it...

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