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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you know when a friendship has run its course?

6 replies

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 22/05/2014 00:32

I have a friend whom I've known, 12 years. I'm 31 now and shes 30.

In those 12 years, friend has shown signs of Major competativeness, controlling behaviour, jealously whenever the attention isnt on her.

She has to be better at everything, have better stuff.
She likes to be the centre of my attention, she gets rather annoyed if she isnt, say if a new person has entered my life. She got quite jealous over this, and tried to put a downer on it.

She would try and tell me off in my own home, she had to control when we went to bed, if she stayed over.

She would try and take over parenting over my DD, telling her off for anything.

Expect lifts if we ever met up, she doesnt drive I do.

I have a new hobby and she was slagging it off to another friend.

The most recent event is, she let me use her netflix account, someone messed with it, meaning she was getting charged more.

She asked me if I did it, I didnt (her brother uses it too), and I told her that. 4 weeks later she tells my closest friend that she is convinced I did it, but still came and stayed over my house for a girls evening. Then she forgot her keys, so I had to drive to hers to give them to her, leaving me out of pocket, she didnt even offer me petrol money.

She seems to have dropped me slightly in favour of new people, we havent spoken in nearly 2 weeks and i dont even miss her.

Is the friendship done?

OP posts:
justmuddlingalong · 22/05/2014 00:35

It sounds like it has ended. A long friendship is not necessarily a good friendship. Sad, but it sounds like time to let it go.

LadyWithLapdog · 22/05/2014 00:38

If she's annoying you so much ATM it's best to get some distance for a while.

BosieDufflecoat · 22/05/2014 09:40

I would say this friendship is over if it sounded like a friendship, but this isn't friendship, this is being latched onto by someone horrible. I hope for your sake she's moved on. Let this one go.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 22/05/2014 09:53

When shes dropped her superiority complex and her controlling behaviour, shes fun to be around. I think its down to the fact that her mum controls her as she still lives at home. Also I think sometimes she has no grasp of other people's feelings.

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 22/05/2014 09:56

You can take a stand against her behaviour? If you're not brave enough you either tolerate her or drop her. However I think if you try to drop her she will pester you for an explanation so try to have that prepared.

People can only treat you in ways that you let them.

Good luck

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 22/05/2014 10:11

I've taken a stand against before, but shes so bloody thick skinned that it just doesnt go in. Theres been times I have been rude to her because of it. Nothing ever changes though.

OP posts:
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