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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Finally Admitting Defeat

5 replies

GirlInASwirl · 21/05/2014 10:04

I have loved you for four years and I still love you now.

Your Asperger's breaks my spirit. I can't live with its cruelty.

I am not strong enough to hold you. I wish I was.

I wished we could communicate and you could step outside of yourself just for a second.

I needed a partner.

I wanted us - together.

Just too tired.....

OP posts:
onetiredmummy · 21/05/2014 10:51

Heartbreaking in its eloquence Swirl :(

Are you OK? If you are leaving do you have a plan?

Original poster
GirlInASwirl · 21/05/2014 10:57

I'm a real mess today to be honest. I can't stop crying.

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlInASwirl · 21/05/2014 11:01

No plan as yet. No money to go. Have son to think about top

OP posts:
onetiredmummy · 21/05/2014 11:28

I have no experience with Aspergers so I can't help you with understanding the aspects of the behaviour. Its good that you have separated the behaviour from the person & you know its the behaviour you cannot live with any more. If you can't live with it then you can't & don't feel guilty. It takes courage to look your relationship in your face & see it for what it is, not want you want it to be. It takes strength to make the decision to leave.

Don't worry about the practicalities today. Today just deal with the emotional fallout of ending a relationship & let the tears & the emotion come freely. Be kind to yourself :)

The plans to leave can come later, you may be in a better financial position than you think. You may qualify for housing benefit for a private let & there may be other benefits depending on your circumstances. There are ways to find out what you are entitled to before you leave. We can advise you on those another day. Just know that we are here when you are ready for that stage.

Just let yourself grieve today for the relationship you wanted & for the things that you wanted for the future that can't happen. You are doing the right thing. You are prioritising yourself & your son & staying in an unhappy relationship, whatever the reason is not fair to either of you. Well done for having the grit to make the hard decision, its done now & it will get easier, I promise.

Original poster
GirlInASwirl · 21/05/2014 15:08

Thank you One for being there today. Sometimes just one person; with their re-assurance can make you feel human again.

OP posts:
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