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Relationships

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Another male / female friendship question

5 replies

ellie366 · 21/05/2014 08:56

Compared to other threads this is quite trivial but ....I've got a close platonic male friend who i usually exchange chatty texts with a few times a week and meet up with once a week. However, about 3 weeks ago i started to notice a change in his attitude towards me. I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink and he said no (unusual) and he cancelled the couple of things we had planned to do together with trivial excuses. As i hadn't seen him for 3 weeks and the few text messages i've had from him (always after I'd texted him first) were not as friendly as normal, I sent him a text yesterday asking if he wanted to meet up. The reply i got was a very dismissive no thanks.

Either i've done something to offend him or he has something else going on that he doesn't want to tell me about. Aware of the stereotypical male / female differences about discussing feelings etc, I've tried to play it cool and hope things would go back to normal by themselves, but i'm about to go on holiday, then he will go on holiday so I'd like to get this sorted out.

Should I just stop contacting him and hope that things will go back to normal when he's ready (I'm worried that the friendship could just fall apart if I do this, he might never get in touch again), or should I bite the bullet and ask what's going on?

OP posts:
LettertoHerms · 21/05/2014 09:00

Probably have other recent threads in mind... does he have a partner, could she have become uncomfortable with the friendship, or has he started seeing someone recently?

ThePrisonerOfAzkaban · 21/05/2014 09:01

Has he recently met someone that you either know a or not. Or his OH could of got a bit pissed off.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/05/2014 09:02

If he's a close friend, you should call him up (not texts) & ask him if something's happened or changed. Forget sexual stereotypes. My thoughts are either you've said/done something to piss him off, something bad has happened in his life that you've not picked up on or... v common... he's got a new girlfriend who doesn't like him having a close female friend.

ellie366 · 21/05/2014 09:10

He has a long term partner, who I only know vaguely but has never in the past seemed to have problems with our friendship.

Cogito: because we work quite near each other we don't usually do phone calls. Usually it's a quick text saying lets meet at X.

OP posts:
meditrina · 21/05/2014 09:13

There are loads of reasons why. Friend might be a bit preoccupied for a while. As you say he's a close friend, I'd just ask (phone call, not text).

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