how do people stay in a loving relationship for 50+ years ?

[nocturnal123]

I heard it is a about compromise ?

You need to expand your horizons together, constantly, or you will grow apart. So you need to generate and execute new ideas, every year.

Great posts by steppemum

My DH and I met when I was 18 and I was 49 when he died. What made us happy was simple, real friendly love, a shared sense of humour and always telling the truth. I know I never lied to him and I believe he never lied to me. Sometimes we both annoyed each other but generally one or both of us found the situation ridiculous eventually. Miss him so much!

actually, despite my previous posts, I think the key for us has been:

2 hoovers and
a dishwasher.

(and I am only half joking)

oh aggg, so sorry for you that you lost your dh

What I can't help saying on this thread is that my parents were both divorced twice by the time I was 20. I focussed my mind and I resolved never to mess my children about. I think there were times when things were tough (never any abuse or real unkindness but a workaholic and no help) when I thought life could be easier on my own but I worked it through. And you know, what, it was worth it and made me realise how good he was and we were together.

And Agg, >>hugs

windy - we have some old family friends, same age as my parents. She had been through a messy divorce as a kid and she decided she would never do that to her kids. She and her husband have been married for 50 years.

I totally respect her decision and her ability to do that. In their case though, I am not convinced it has been entirely happy. And I do wonder if she would have stood up for what she needed more if she had not had that decision in the back of her mind. Which is interesting, because I made the same choice (this marriage is for life) but for different reasons.

Dunno Steppe but I love him more as each day passes so it can't have been wrong. Might not have been instant gratification but I don't regret a minute of it and every night we hug and feel real true love (not carnal) and start each day with a cuddle too. Might not have been doing that 15 years ago because but we allowed it to grow and thrive and multiply.