Asking someone out - please help, I'm useless!

[Whiskwarrior]

I've been single for a year now and I was with my ex for 19 years prior to that so I've been out of the dating game for a long time. I had no boyfriend before my ex so you can see why I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

BUT I like someone! This is great if only for the fact that it means I'm finally moving on and this in itself makes me feel so happy. I want to know if he likes me too and ask him out but I'm terrified of the rejection.

We work in the same place but not together. I see him everyday and I think he probably knows I like him. I've noticed him looking at me (or maybe I'm imagining it) and he quite often turns up where I usually am now too. But he doesn't speak to me, just whoever else is there (quite often behind me).

We work in a school and my last day before half term is Thursday. He may be out on a trip that day (not sure) and I was thinking of just giving him a note tomorrow with my number and asking him to text me if he's interested.

Is that too forward? Am I setting myself up to look like an idiot? Any other suggestions?

Please help. I turned 40 in November and am now thinking life is too short for missing out but I really am clueless at all this stuff!

some shy people are very glad to be 'rushed' as they are painfully aware that their lack of confidence can lead to a huge waste of time and opportunity.
I'm not suggesting that OP should grab and kiss him immediately, but come on, can he REALLY be scared by being asked for a coffee/drink? why would he back off? Never, if he likes her.
he may back off after that if things don't go well, but at least OP will know sooner. She's the agonising type, so suggesting to wait for months - nooo!

I'm obviously spending far too much time on this, but I may have found a way in, as it were!

As he works with a boy with behavioural issues, I was thinking I could message him on Facebook and ask for advice on my own son (similar behaviour patterns) as he has so much experience in the area. Could say I was planning on speaking to him about it in person today but forgot we weren't in (inset day). If he replies and wants to talk more than work stuff then that gives me an idea and I wouldn't have to agonise over half term. Take it from there.

Too much?

Well, I've done it. I've messaged him on Facebook. All very casual, no mention of anything other than asking for advice on boys behaviour. Ball's in his court now.

Someone tell me I've not gone mad!

I think that's actually quite a good 'in', I hope he's responded

Nothing yet. Early days though...

you've not gone mad

You've not gone mad, by a far stretch! Good thinking. A topic he will feel comfortable discussing without being nervous about asking you out. A friendship can now naturally progress without awkwardness.

Did he reply? X

Are you friends on Facebook?

If not it might have gone into the 'other' message folder where he cannot see it unless he checks. If you friend request him and he accepts it will go into his normal inbox.

You're not mad. You're "creative".
It's what I used to do, but these days it's something I do not do.... but should really. This is what makes it all fun. :D

Good luck OP.

Oh bugger. No, we're not friends on Facebook so he probably hasn't even seen it has he? I can't really send him a friend request as well now. How desperate will that look?

Stumped now.

Don't let this be you.

I've sent him a friend request!

Now the waiting really begins

please update us :)

If I hear anything I'll let you know.

I don't know how often he checks Facebook. He may ignore me or reject my friend request.

I'm hoping I just get a nice, friendly reply back

Don't be too clever or too aloof. It will make you look a bit creepy ,desperate .I reckon he fancies you, and that's lovely. Just be straight with him and ask him if he'd
be willing to to see X film/theatre/whatever, as you could do with some Adult company after working with kids all day long,

He hasn't replied yet, no.

But. BUT!

He's started speaking to me at work! I finally got a 'hi' yesterday and today we had a quick - work-related - chat because I was a bit 'lost'.

Then he was hanging around again after lunch.

Tomorrow...I'm working in his class - yikes!

I agree with upupupandaway, about asking him out to see an X-rated film because you're sick and tired of the kids.

Ha, I don't think an x-rated film was what was meant!!

I do want to see the new Tom Cruise film though so maybe I should start there.

We shall see how things go tomorrow!

Never implied X rated film. it was a suggestion to ask if he wanted to see a movie.

He does sound painfully shy.

Tomorrow ask him if he got your message and whether he could spaces 10 mins for a chat...

And most importantly KEEP US POSTED