Can I ask some advice please on dating situation

[Fmlgirl]

Hi there,

I'm a long time lurker but have never posted. I'd love to ask some advice from you lovely ladies to help me set my head straight.

I'm 30 and have had a few short term relationships since I broke up with a long-term partner at 25 so I have not been all too lucky in dating.

I met a man through online dating who I thought was a different class of men than the muppets I meet a lot, 37, handsome, brilliant job and nice flat.

So we went on 4 dates in total. I felt he was a bit pushy asking me sexual questions of all sorts even during dinner which make me uncomfortable but at the same time he made me laugh and I loved spending time with him.

He was starting to say that he was seeing other people but has stopped because he feels I'm the girl for him, this was on date 3. He also said why do we have to wait for sex (I felt 3 dates was way too early) and that everything that was great for him in the past always happened quickly.

Like the muppet I am I went to his house on night 3 and we had sex. In the morning he was already telling me how he was going to be away for a week maybe. I realised he was blowing me off and so I haven't heard from him in a week. This has completely knocked me for six and I've been wondering whether I am shit at sex or something else was wrong with me as we got along great before.

Either way, I have been quite upset and know that I really shouldn't be as I also got myself to blame.

Any advice?

Sorry the sex happened on date 4. That was a typo.

sorry but I think he told you what you wanted to hear to get sex, and now he has had that he will vanish. This isn't your fault and it is nothing you have done wrong.

There's nothing wrong with you. He, on the other hand, is a shallow twat. Your instinct about being uncomfortable about him asking sexual questions during dinner when you hardly knew each other was spot on. Nice guys don't do that.

Sadly he's another one of those muppets. Don't waste anymore time or emotion on him.

When he made you feel uncomfortable, next time that happens with someone, listen to it instead of brushing it under the table.
Wait until you've resolved any discomfort before you sleep with someone if sex is a big thing for you. I think it was a sign that you wanted different things from this.
He sounds like a player who just wanted sex. It isn't fair that he pretended to be something else to match your wants. He's a prick. Sorry you've been upset by him. Stick pins in a voodoo doll of him.

He's a an arsehole. Seriously. You are well rid.

I have had very early sex with people who have treated me much, much better than that (but never pushed me into it - it happened, which while not a guarantee of good behaviour afterwards, is probably a better omen than someone who's a bit pushy per your OP).

It really isn't you. Move on and unless you really want to, maybe set a time limit for sex with a future partner? 3 months is hardly any time at all, but might be enough to weed out the chancers.

Hey everyone,

Thanks for the replies.

Chaseface, I really thought he was just a highly-sexed bloke that found it hard as he kept saying that it is also important to him that someone is naughty.

I guess I was blind sighted by the fact that he was really extremely complimentary (to get in my pants). He also gave me this semi exclusivity speech as
I mentioned above.

I'm not usually a naive woman. I am really independent and enjoy my career. These things happen but I wish that he had just been upfront.

Some blokes probably think that every date will end in sex. It's all a learning curve. Hopefully you will meet someone nice and genuine in the not too distant future.

I agree with everyone else that he got what he wanted and one of 2 things will probably happen:

1. He will contact you shortly giving you more lines about how he missed you, he was busy etc etc and after meeting up with you will expect sex and probably string you along for a while
2. You'll hear from in the future sometime to meet up for sex
3. You'll never hear from him again

Doesn't read like he's a keeper at all sorry :(