I think my husband has been lieing to me about everything

[Sam06]

I am quite an active member but my husband knows I come on mumnet so I created an new account.

Past history which you may remember, my husband kept paying the rent late and now we been given notice to leave the property. His been telling me for months his not had enough money and has been taking out pay day loans.

Well our marriage is abusive and there is no love or affection. We properly have sex once every 1-2 months but even though he seems to hate me, he refuses to leave and has done for the past year.

Before we got benefits but now he has a new full time job and even though he is working 3 different jobs he is telling me has no money, like usual he has money...no money to give me...no money to pay the rent on time...its my fault he has no money as his supporting me!

Well after telling me again he has no money to get a full week shop I decided to look at his bank statements and devastated to see he has had money yet is still taking out pay day loans and still taking money from me.

I get child benefit, last month he told me he had no money for the shopping well I gave him 30 quid. I looked at last month statement and his balance was showing 400 quid at the time I gave him 30 pounds...he takes out payday loans even though he has money in his account. At the end of the month he always has 1-200 pound left. What the hell is going on? Is he leading an double life? having an affair? he is always working, always so maybe he is not working.

Please someone tell me what they think, my head is spinning. Am I getting this wrong, I just do not understand. He been yelling at me about being an sponger for ages, forcing me to get an full time job instead of part time as we are struggling so much.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I remember your previous posts.

Do you think he could have a gambling problem?

What is it that makes you stay?

Do you think he may have a drink, drugs or gambling addiction?

I remember.

So, if you get evicted due to nonpayment of rent, he will be sorted, as he has funds for a new deposit and with so many jobs and salary coming in, he will have no problem securing another property for himself.

What about you?

Because I am pathetic and afraid of being alone, I have very low self esteem and any act of kindness he gives I hold onto.

No chance of an gambling problem.

Well long as he pays the rent on time at the end of the month we be allowed to stay. His the type of person who has debt collectors from past chasing him.

I do not think he wants to split but he treats me like shit and now I found out he lies to me.

What makes you so sure it's not a gambling problem?

Do you have a feel for what it might be? A gut instinct?

I've been in your place emotionally before- in an abusive relationship where you can do no right, self esteem thru the floor, no job, no fiends etc. To Look at me now you'd never believe it.

You can absolutely turn this around, but first you need to leave, and I don't say that lightly. It really is the only thing you can do.

You need to speak to CAB abs women's aid to get some proper advice about how to leave.

You CAN Do this!

Please tell me you don't have any DC with this dickfart of a man?

Sprite - I think the Child Benefit is the clue, though its possible the child(ren) are from a previous relationship.

I only have one child.

Sorry Sam, I also wanted to offer support. You deserve so much better. Please consider a future without this man. Your current circumstances sound very unsettling and hard to bear.

In that case please get away from this man you and your child deserve better then him lying to you and keeping you in fear of losing your home, imagine how that would make your DC feel

You are demonstrating to your child that it is ok to be in a relationship with men like this. Don't let that be the case.

Greedy horrible man.

If you do what you've always done you will get what you always got.