If she contacts me, is it ok to tell her to do one?

[Fontella]

I don't know how to namechange, so I'm not giving too much in the way of specifics.

I had a friend - let's call her Gladys, going right back to teens - we've had a couple of minor fall outs down the years but always made up. However a few years ago me and Gladys had a big fall out - won't go into details but she was bang out of order and I told her so. Told her a few home truths at the same time, as things had been building up for a while and she had been getting more and more autocratic and expecting me to dance to her tune all the time. I finally snapped and told her to stick it where the sun don't shine. She went nuts and started bombarding me with text messages and calls non-stop and I ended up not answering the phone to her, deleting her texts without reading them, and deleting any ansafone messages without listening to them.

I'm aware you are only getting one side of the story here and I'm sure if she gave her version of events it would be entirely different from mine, but I have no reason to lie to MNetters and I know, that if I were to tell you the facts with no embellishments or spin, the overwhelming majority of you would understand totally my point of view. If I'd done anything to warrant what happened I'd hold my hand up, but I didn't, and she was so far out of order, I felt fully justified in telling her to stick it.

So that was it. No communication for the best part of a decade, in which time she's moved to another part of the country. I've just found out that on some forum or messageboard or something (I don't do Facebook or Friends United or whatever it is - so not sure what exactly), another friend from our teen days (now living overseas) has got in touch with a relative of mine saying that Gladys wants to get in touch with me and asked for my email. My dozy relative didn't know my email address so has passed on my phone number instead (!) and then rang me today and told me 'you might be getting a call from Gladys.'

(Not the same phone number I had back then I hasten to add).

Now I know it's all water under the bridge, and I know several years have passed .. but I really don't want this. I'm sat here knowing she's now got my current number and can ring anytime she likes and I genuinely don't want her to. I have no desire to renew this friendship. I haven't really thought about her or missed her, and unless her character has changed drastically I'm not interested. I know exactly how the conversation will go, I can just picture picking up the phone and her all bright and breezy on the other end, and I just can't fake being pleased to hear from her because frankly I won't be. In fact I'd quite like to tell her to fuck off.

Am I being unfair, unreasonable .. should I let bygones be bygones or what?

Definitely wouldn't want to reestablish contact you already seem resolute and wouldn't have second thoughts telling Gladys to FOR

Given you don't give a monkeys, if perchance she or one of her relatives did use MN and recognised your description,wouldn't it be helpful for her to read this thread? She would get your side of the story unembellished and facts from your pov? Then when she rings up to talk you can still tell her to FO, and RTFT all in one go

Job's a good'un

I have one of these, she just tried to weasle her way back in after 8yrs...I just ignore her completely. If she rang, I'd give her fair warning that the phone was going down, but down it would go. Like you say, I don't miss the friendship at all so I just don't want to give it air time.

If your phone number is not listed with your name anywhere, you just always let it go to voice mail and delete any messages from her. Or, answer and tell her she has the wrong number?

When she calls I would pretend to have no idea who she is, then when she reminds you just say 'ohh yes I think I remember you, didn't we go (somewhere) together' (somewhere you never went), then when she says no say 'oh sorry I thought that was you, so who are you again' then i would say I was busy and needed to go.

I would then save her number so that I can screen and ignore all future calls.

I like WeAreEternal's response too.

I had a similar situation, some years ago.

The person rang me, (on my work number, which I can't change) and chatted to me about her life, and what she was doing now. I made appropriate noises.

When she asked me about my life, I just kept saying "oh, nothing's changed."

Obviously, I never called back. She never called back either - she hadn't got the gossip, or the way back in, because I just didn't tell her anything.