a year ago i posted that my DH tied a ligature

[messandmayhem]

OP HERE - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/1749825-Help-DH-tied-a-ligature-dont-know-if-I-can-cope?pg=1&order=

I want to thank the posters from this board who replied to me. That wasnt the first instance abusive behaviour. It wasnt the last instance either. It was the point at which, for me, my marriage went from "this is wrong, we need to fix this" to "I cant live like this, I want to be happy".

It still took a long time to realise I was being abused. During that time any time I stood up to him he would wait until I went out then then text me that he wished he was dead / melodramatic variation on his life being shit, then turn off his phone. I spent months in constant fear of him killing himself. He was verbally abusive. He was sexually abusive. He was financially abusive.

I left him. Thank you. I couldnt have done it without lurking here or without those responses on my original post. I was so confused and scared then. My head is much clearer now. Im still scared sometimes. But its getting better. Thank you

I remember your thread.

I'm glad you felt supported and have been able to leave him.

I wish you all the best for your future, stay strong

fixed link

Thanks elQuintoConyo

I think you've been very brave, so well done. Getting out from under a manipulative abuser takes so much courage. Possibly more courage than many of us know how to muster unless we've been there ourselves

I'm so glad you've chosen a better future for yourself and I admire your courage. Do stick around if you can. Others will benefit from your story and example. Good luck

This is good news to hear. Well done x

OP, out of interest, can you articulate what made you make the final move to leave him and then not react to his manipulation ? Was there a Final Straw moment at all ?

I didn't see your first thread, sorry.

Well done for making this brave choice and best wishes for a much brighter future for yourself and DCs

I'm so glad you got free of him. Well done and best wishes for the future.

I presume he's still alive, yes? well done OP.

You hero - well done.

Enjoy every minute of your new life.

...and SGB was right about these pathetic, manipulative individuals (as she usually is)

Tallwivglasses, yes hes alive. And on the occasions I sent the police round after I left because he had apparently cut himself, or was going to take an overdose etc he was fine. Watching a movie on one occasion. Sitting having a drink with half a dozen friends on another occasion. No intention of hurting himself. I had dozens of dramatic suicide texts.

What an inadequate individual. he is someone else's problem now (because I assume he will never step up and take responsibility for himself ...that would be too much to ask)

Pretty low stuff to threaten suicide as a way to exert control and scare someone but pretty common. Absolutely spot on move calling the police.... hope they gave him a bollocking in front of his mates for wasting their time. :)

What is it you're scared of now?

well done.
it is sad there are people who would do this when there are people who really are sick.

the only answer is to call 999.

Well done. Suicide threats are one of the nuclear options for the abuser. Another nuclear option is a murder attempt on the victim. Another is stalking/threats after separation. Continued messaging about suicide is a form of harassment. It's all about control.

I hope your DCs are doing ok. How is the DC who was afraid of the ex?

Hes 4 1/2 now, and is much happier away from his dad.

Glad to hear that.

Glad things are better for you now.

Oh I remember your thread OP, what a great update. Well done