Crapped on from a great height

[duvetdaisy]

Hi, just need to offload as I can't in RL :(

Have been with 'D'P for 2.5 years and it's not been the best relationship, very up and down. We don't live together and both have DC's.

I have been working on a project with him for the last 12 months which is nearly finished, it has been partially funded by his friend/business acquaintance who is a lovely man and has helped and supported 'D'P like a father.

A few weeks ago I started to get suspicious about 'D'P and his intentions with the project - a couple of overheard phonecalls and other things made me think he was actually going to do something very dodgy (sorry to be cryptic but it's not great believe me!) I questioned him, tripped him up over some details and finally he told me what he had planned.

I was so shocked and disgusted, it was something completely illegal!! I told him I would leave him if he went ahead with it - he said I could do what I liked and really didn't seem bothered. Having gone away and thought about everything I realised that even if I just walked away I would still be implicated should he get caught (which he would) as I was so involved in the project and also his friend would be part of it without knowing. The next day we had a huge talk and he said he wouldn't go ahead with it.

On Friday I found out he was still very much going ahead with it. I told him he couldn't put me and his friend at risk by doing this and it was pure greed, he is desperate for money right now. I told him I would go to the police or tell his friend. He still didn't call it off so on Saturday I rang his friend and told him everything. (feeling completely sick)

I have no idea what his friend will do, he seemed more upset than angry. 'D'P just seemed more worried about losing anymore financial help from his (very wealthy) friend than losing a relationship and a friend.

I have never been in trouble with the police and am also a loyal partner so I'm very confused at the moment, he keeps texting abuse saying I've broken his confidence and discussed his personal business with other people - he will never trust me again! But I really was stuck between a rock and a hard place, how could I have turned a blind eye? I gave him plenty of opportunity to not do it, he knew I was going to stop it happening as I told him straight and actually rang his friend in front of him - how does that make me untrustworthy?

I have no idea what will happen now - i'm staying away but my stomach is churning so much, feel very anxious :(

I understand your reticence completely.

What is troubling me at the moment is that you have information, albeit without any concrete evidence, that a possible crime is about to take place and at the moment you could be implicated in a conspiracy. Knowing and not doing anything about it could be inferred as conspiring by your very silence on the matter. That's why an affidavit or some similar legal instrument appears so very necessary if you can't go the the police about it.

Without knowing the actual intended offence it's difficult to advise.

I would advise you to go and see a solicitor. I appreciate that you can't tell anyone on this thread what was actually being planned, but if you talk to a solicitor and explain the whole situation to him/her then you should be able to get help and advice to extricate yourself from the mess.

I will go and see a solicitor and get some advice - really good idea, thank you both, i'll have a quick look at some now :)

Yes, see a solicitor with an expertise in criminal work. Tell them everything and let them work out a way forward together with you.

Yes legal advice is what you need

Question for legal bods:
Can you tell a solictor everything without them having to go to the police? I know that barristers have rules about how much they can know about real guilt ... Would be good to find this out!

Time to take pre-emptive action. Good luck.

Bitter has it - by knowing about an offence being planned you are involved in a conspiracy and would be tried as such unless you bring it to the relevant authorities attention.

Forget the relationship, thats gone, now make sure you aren't going to be prosecuted as well - who'd look after your kids if (highly unlikely) you got a sentence? You have no choice in this matter I'm afraid.

All the drama about dodgy guys and seeing a solicitor and getting stuff in writing is misplaced.

The text to the friend is incriminating you because it demonstrates that you know a crime is going to be committed and you are involved in it but you have not reported it to the police.

The only thing to do is report this to the police and explain that you are afraid of the people involved. Anything else you do is just leaving a paper trail detailing your involvement which will aid your later prosecution IMO.

Solicitors can break confidentiality over money laundering. Essentially by asking for legal advice rather than reporting you would be asking how to get away with your part in a crime.

Go see a solicitor, if their advice is to go to the police, then do it. Protect yourself. Your exp and his business partner are not going to put you first.