Help me, don't think im doing very well

[onionlove]

Long story short we are separating, have 2 young dc's, dh has been unfaithful with escorts (polite description)
Think DH has realised finally that i am serious about it as ive asked him to come to mediator to sort out house etc
There is a wait list and I'm not sure when we will see someone, meantime cohabiting is really getting to me, he seems to think i should treat him the same when i am upset and some days hate the sight of him, the children are little but in sure its not passing them by and i know om stressed and not as patient as i should be with them
not sure what to do i don't want children to suffer, i cant fake my feelings its almost a unconscious reaction
i know money is an issue, should i ask him to try to get a short term rental place until finance can be sorted?
thank you

Definitely tell him to leave if it's stressing you out. He had the money for his hookers so he can find the money for somewhere to stay, even if it's the YMCA. He doesn't have to agree to go, of course, but you can certainly make his life a lot more unpleasant rather than thinking you have to paste on a big fat smile for the kids.

You will feel stronger & more prepared if you know what happens next. Book an appt with the CAB (free) & they will tell you what can & can't be done with your house & other assets that are jointly owned. You do not need him or his permission to separate & I'm glad he's finally got the message that its over. The CAB can also advise on any state help that you may be able to claim & also whether you are able to force him to leave the marital home.

Please be warned though, that sometimes when the ex realises it truly is over, then they get nasty & are capable of things you didn't dream of.

He is minimising his behaviour when he wants you to treat him the same as before. Its not the same. It can't be the same because he changed it & brought his sordid little fucks into your life. What he wants now does not matter & what he wants is not your concern. Stop doing his washing,cooking & any of the little wifey stuff you have been doing.

You certainly do not have to pretend as though nothing has happened! I agree that the children should be protected from most of it & its admirable that you are doing that already, however there should also be times where you can make him aware of how angry you are. Don't ask to move out. Tell him to move out. If the children aren't there then do your screaming & shouting at him then. He can't do this & expect no repercussions, you are human & your feelings are just as valid as his.

Get some advice & then you will know where you stand & you will be the stronger for it!

Thanks both, i guess I'm just worried that I'm so unhappy and stressed out that the children are affected by it, i had a horrendous morning with them not doing what i asked them and i think i handled it really badly then i cried all the way to work, i phoned nursery to see if they were ok and they told me ds had visited.his little sister in her class and took her a teddy bear, sorry I know I'm too emotional I'm just so worried about them and don't think I'm protecting them well at the moment

Your children will know that you're sad but, if you can bring this limbo period to an end quickly, they're unlikely to be permanently affected. You can never really protect them from your sadness, you can only shift heaven and earth to choose happiness instead.