Answering the same question over and over again makes me want to gouge out my eyes with a rusty spoon...

[isabellavine]

NC for this, but regular.

Also, this is a trivial matter compared to a lot of what people are going through on this board, but I need to vent.

Just got back from a weekend away with inlaws. They are in reasonable health, and there are no issues with dementia, or anything like that.

Every SINGLE time we see them, they ask the same questions:

• How did you get here (and 'by car' is not good enough, every SINGLE road traversed has to be listed IN THE RIGHT ORDER)

Have you thought about moving away from X (poor northern city) into Y (rich country area close by that I would never move to because it is full of cows and other scary creatures, and also has no shops that sell anything useful.. and also we could never afford it)

• Have you thought about getting a new car (despite receiving the clear answer 'We cannot afford it at the moment')
• Do you have plans to build an extension/decorate your home? (see above for our answer)
• Why are you not members of the National Trust? (we have answered this one literally 8 times in the last year - it is definitely not our thing).

Is it unreasonable to think that if I answer a question more than three times, people should at least try to remember the answer, and that not doing so is rude and anti-social? And also, is it unreasonable to think that this is not about the information, but about them judging us and finding our lifestyle wanting? (For the record, we have never accepted any financial help from them, so in my view they have no right to do this).

When we leave, they always angle like mad for an invitation to our house "Oh, I suppose we'll be seeing you at your place soon" etc. etc. etc.

"Like they'll just keep asking until they get the answer they want to hear!"

I think you've hit the nail on the head here. BUt I love Hecate's response to the problem, do that! Please.

DH tends to panic too much to find it funny, unfortunately. I'm making him sound like a pathetic weed, but he's just got so much baggage from FIL's behaviour that he finds it difficult to see the funny side. The trouble is that FIL has absolutely no sense of humour, and won't stand even affectionate teasing - he becomes defensive and passive-aggressive at the slightest thing. Hence DH is conditioned to think giggling (even silently, inside) is dangerous. I can remember his astonishment when I suggested to him early in our relationship that (gentle) teasing was actually a mark of closeness and affection. I thought that was obvious, but he'd never seen it that way.