I have a very dear friend who is blatantly being gas lighted, she has called her husband out on it first in private and now more recently quite vocally in public
He does it over little things like arrangements he's made to go to the pub he won't tell her he's made them until she makes plans, asks him to join her and them he'll chip in 'I told you I'm doing x' she saw red the last time he did this and shouted at him to stop doing that and that he hadn't said anything of the sort to her. He turned on the charm and somehow had everyone believing she was the one who hadn't listened to him and that 'she never listens' which is why she's always missing plans. Other things he does it over aren't so minor but big things like whether to have another dc or have permanent contraception solutions, he'll say one then when she suggests going to the drs he says 'what are you talking about we never discussed this'
Anyway this all came to a monumental head today. She has some plants in her garden that are very special to her and given by now deceased relatives. He's took it upon himself to pull them up and dispose of them, when she sent a dc to water them the dc returned saying it's not there. She challenged him saying where is it, has he moved it, and he responded 'what plant? There's never been one there' she's seen red and wants to leave but doesn't know how. All her confidence has gone and she's doubting everything she does everything she says, he's utterly undermined her in every way possible and everyone thinks he's Mr Wonderful.
So where do I begin to support her? She's in pieces and I'm, quite frankly, too tired to be much use at the moment!