Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Am I a Lesbien?

34 replies

Hillary · 30/08/2006 19:07

I always wanted children and had two early in life, my partner took off and left me to bring them up on my own, but i'v never really fancied men just seemed the normal thing to do comimg from a catholic background. If i'm honest with myself i've always been attracted to women, never done anything about it but cant help feeling that way!

What do I do?

OP posts:
FoghornLeghorn · 30/08/2006 19:08

Hard question to answer whether you are a lesbian or not. There are a few people on here who have same sex relationships, they might be able to offer some advice on the way you are feeling

fattieSlapper · 30/08/2006 19:13

its a toughy.
i mean i find women attractive, but i don't want to have sex with them.

I think its something only you can really answer....soory im pants, hopefuy someone a bit smarter will be along soon

ocd · 30/08/2006 19:13

how on earth woudl we know

fireflyfairy2 · 30/08/2006 19:16

Maybe you like a womans company, just for companionship and a laugh etc.. but still don't need a man. I have a friend who has a wee guy aged 9 and she hasn't had a man since his dad, she loves female company but I wouldn't class her as a lesbian. Maybe you could try it and make you mind up? I find lots of women attractive (Nell Mc Andrew for example ) But I am not a lesbian

mustrunmore · 30/08/2006 19:20

Everyone can be attracted to everyone in my experience. There's no point in trying to categorise yourself. Try everything, and see what you like best. It might be a case of sex etc being a side effect of just really liking someone, whatever sex they are. Often has been in my case.

WideWebWitch · 30/08/2006 19:20

pmsl ocd

noddyholder · 30/08/2006 19:24

A friend of mine always knew she was a lesbian but got married and has 2 gorgeous kids Her husband and her have parted now and she is in a great relationship with a woman and they are sooo happy together it is a joy to see.She waited until her parents were both dead til she felt able to act on her true feelings and regrets all the wasted years but not the kids,give it a try you may be bi sexual

Original poster
Hillary · 30/08/2006 19:27

Oh I don't know - My mum would kill me if i told her, I have two children so I dont want them to be bullied, its such a big thing. I'm not a very confident person, i was lucky to have my chilren as i sufferd from anorexia for years I was hospitalised weighing 5 stone, they are so precious to me.

OP posts:
mustrunmore · 30/08/2006 19:40

So dont tell your Mum until you're so sure and so confident that you actuaaly want to tell her. Its your own business until you're ready to let people in.

Amanda1 · 30/08/2006 20:19

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Hillary · 30/08/2006 20:43

Thanks Guys your're all a big help, its the first time i'v actually told anyone, Amanda1 your're right i think you do just know, I feel a bit better now thank you.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 30/08/2006 20:46

well, you won't know till you try, eh?

FloatingOnTheMed · 30/08/2006 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wartywarthog · 30/08/2006 23:12

go for it!

Dottydot · 31/08/2006 09:23

I'd agree with everyone who's said don't get hung up about labels - it's not important. I agree that sexuality is fluid. What's important is who you're atracted to - and it might change from men to women to men etc - and what you do about it. Maybe you need to have a chat to a good friend in RL when you feel ready.

It is scary thinking about the impact there might be on your children - all I can say is that my female dp and I are raising our 2 ds's (4 & 2) and so far - touch wood - all's been great. Everyone we know, from friends to family to nursery workers and other children they know have been absolutely fine with it.

I think if you find the confidence to feel positive about whoever you fall in love with, that positive outlook affects people around you. But maybe that's a little way off yet and you need to keep talking to whoever you feel comfortable talking to. Good luck!!

hester · 31/08/2006 22:25

Hillary, I think it can be hard to know for sure until you've taken the plunge (and even then). It took me some years of having relationships exclusively with women before I felt pretty certain that yes, this probably was going to be the way I lived my life. I'd agree with others that your first step is not to assign a label to yourself, but to get out there and explore your feelings a bit more actively. That's easier said than done (lesbianism can be a hard club to join!). Nightclubs are a very difficult way to meet nice people, I always think. You could try ringing your local Lesbian and Gay Switchboard for activities in your area, and/or just to talk through your feelings with them. You could also buy Diva magazine and look for groups/activities that appeal to you.

Remember that you are not doing anything irreversible - taking the first steps is just exploration, and you don't have to feel you must commit yourself to anything yet.

Best of luck to you. I know it's hard, and scary, but it could also turn out to be lovely and exciting as well. Don't worry about coming out to anyone yet - cross that bridge when you come to it. and remember that there are loads of lesbians out there with kids, and we give a lot of support to each other.

xx

biatch · 18/10/2006 20:32

hi every, i just want to say that i have known that i am a lesbian for a few years now. but was afraid to come to terms with it. recently i have started seeing a woman and really enjoy her company. and another thing the satisfaction that a woaman gives you is amazing you cant even compare it to men. i still haven't built up the courage to tell my family. so if there is any one out there that has benn able to do this and would like to share the experince please let me know how it went. thanks xx

RottenOtter · 18/10/2006 20:41

are you hillary?

makemineadouble · 18/10/2006 21:25

Totally agree with amanda1 what does a few inches of skin mean anyway? a partner is just that surely, you find what you need in a person, you love that person, cant be without them, what happens next is obvious and your buisness

lecock · 25/11/2006 20:54

Hi,me woman... i dont know if i am bi, but all my fantasies are with women and all my life i had boyfriends...am i really bi?

lecock · 25/11/2006 21:12

i would be glad if someone will give me an advise...

NomDePlume · 25/11/2006 21:17

Only you can know if you are Bi, but I would say that many peope have sexual fantasies about things that they would NEVER want to try in RL. Fantasy is a 'safe' way of testing scenarios out. Just because you fantasise about sleeping with women it does not mean that you are gay or even bi

Mercy · 25/11/2006 21:20

Lecock, what a funny name you have chosen for such a subject. No advice, sorry.

GlowormLovesTheLateLateToyShow · 25/11/2006 21:22

and why dig up an old thread?
can you wee boys not come up with an original?????????????

AllieBongo · 25/11/2006 21:23

should be "le-tiny-cock"

Swipe left for the next trending thread