Should my parents split up?

[cocodogg]

I think that my parents should split up. A few years ago, my family moved from England to Ireland, but my dad kept his job in England, and he travels to work for 3-4 weeks and returns for 1-2 weeks.
When he is home, he and my mum only seem to communicate when it has to do with fixing something (he is an engineer) or when it has to do with food (my mum likes cooking/baking). They go out to a pub about twice a year.
I never had a problem with this until last month, when I was off sick from school, and was going to the bathroom and I heard load voices coming from the kitchen. On my way back, I heard a door slam and my mum said something like "You make it really hard to like or love anything about you, its such a shame, really". Later that day I was with them in the kitchen and noticed them giving the other weird looks when they weren't looking.

I've been really wary of them ever since. My dad came back from the UK the day before yesterday and about half an hour ago, I heard loud voices coming from the room below me. When I went down to make sure it wasn't an argument, I couldn't hear the clearly, but some of it went along the lines of " I'm just sick of all the arguing/ Have you thought about it?/Not really no" I didn't really catch anything else but that was enough to convince me to make an account on this website and make this post. This is really worrying me because while I don't want them to be miserable together like this, I know that if they do divorce, My dad will probably move away to England permanently and I won't see him at all anymore.

I am sorry that this post is really long, as I mentioned before I only made an account to say this and I would really like to know what people who may have gone through this would have to say on it.

I am a girl and turning 17 in a few months and have Asperger's Syndrome. My 14 year old brother also has A.S, as well as depression that he's getting help for. My mum is 49 this year and my dad is 56 this year. I really don't think I can live like this much longer. I well up every time I see their wedding pictures.

Thanks again.

Why do you think you won't see your dad if your parents split? Wouldn't he make the effort to visit from England if he moves?

It's upto your parents really, it's their marriage and maybe they'd be happier apart.

Sorry, this must be awful for you. However, some people in long relationships do sometimes argue or go through difficult patches without it being the end of the relationship. They might be fining the current work/home arrangement difficult, but presumably there are reasons for it.

Ultimately it is their decision.

It sounds as though they are trying but failing to keep their arguing away from you & your brother. They don't know that you know & you haven't told them that you know. Everyone is keeping secrets. Is it possible to talk with either parent & ask them what's happening? I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be this worried & anxious over it.

As Cresta said, surely your dad would still want to see you & would make the effort to do so?

Marriages do go through bad times & sometimes the marriage survives & sometimes it doesn't & only your parents will know which it is. A marriage breaking up though isn't always a bad thing. If people live together who are unhappy then the atmosphere can be affected & a tension can build up among everyone. In some cases when people make the decision to live apart everybody is happier, even though its sometimes impossible to see how that could work. Your parents will want the best thing for you & I'd say to just ask them :)

This can be very difficult for any young person to deal with but for someone with A.S it must be even harder. I agree with onetired in that you need to talk to one/both of your parents and let them know how much this is affecting you. Do you have any support network for your A.S because you may need some additional support right now as you go through this very difficult and confusing time.